This song was great in 1979…& it’s still great, but today though, to those who live in Clownworld, it’s reeeeeeeeqee-cist. Derp. Such a joke, an un-funny joke. As you know, I will NEVER bend the knee to something as pathetically daft as political correctness. Fuck off ya rainbow-haired crab goblins. I love it, & this entire album. This is from The Cure’s first album, entitled “Boys Don’t Cry,” & I’d wager most Gen-Xers, like yours truly, have listened to this album about 1327 times. One of the best bands ever, & still, STILL, touring. They are living legends. Despite Robert Smith getting fat & a bit haggard, they still rock 3-4 hours, yes…3 to 4-hour long shows. Musical dynamos. Obviously, I’m a big fan, & picking out a song was an exercise in its own right. I went with this one, but there’s so many more, I might have to do one…or two…or maybe more. Only so much time in a day. & when I create these, hours go by like long seconds.
The paradox of time…when you’re doing nothing, time crawls, & when you’re having fun dong something you love, it’s as if time fast-forwards. Perception is a fickle thing I suppose. Regardless, enjoy this one Fishheads. I have a list that just keeps growing & growing & growing…a list of songs I want to make videos for. Need time…TIME…hey God, I need more time, what can you do for me? God is so quiet, isn’t He? It’s almost like the sound of nothing from a galactic cosmic void. Funny thing though, when satellites point into those voids, the reception they get sounds like whale static. It’s not “nothing,” & we were created in the image of something, so draw your own conclusions. Okay, okay…as always, I started with a few sentences, & ended up with a short essay. That’s how I roll, & my team knows this. Stay tuned, there’s more to come my friends. So sayeth FisH™🎏
6 days until the the frog comes again. Perhaps I should’ve scheduled it on the New Moon, but moons, crystals, magic, all that stuff is just superstitious gibberish. At least, it seems to be anyway. Nonetheless, the frog is most definitely a savior on a cross, so to speak. The frog is very real, & the frog abides. The sweet sleep has to end, as yours truly must navigate this 3d prison planet with clear mind & strong body. Things are on the precipice, & each day that goes by, we get closer, & closer, & closer…to what though? What are we getting closer to? Death, that’s one thing, but that’s not what I’m referring to. I’m thinking maybe there was some kind of event we all incarnated to bear witness to. Maybe not. Maybe it is all for not. Just like the rotting swamp gas stench, it’s all just decay, death beginning immediately upon birth, like a once-flooded coastal wasteland, but what happens the other way? So many questions, & the worst part is that we all have the answers, only we’ve lost our memories, we’ve lost our “higher” abilities, & we’ve lost our minds, in many cases. Some don’t seem to have a mind, like real-life, real-time NPCs, so I guess they have nothing to lose, but I digress. Just like shutting off a vacuum cleaner. Nonetheless, the 3-year stint of of the silent assassin ends Monday. No more auto-pilot, no more days in laze, the purgatorial penance dawns on 6 days from now. The end? Or…the end?
The salad days are long dead & gone, & one comes to a time in their respective lives where they realize the party is over, the Great Party of being young is done. There’s nothing but moldy crushed bits of plastic red cups on the floor, something smoldering in the kitchen, & everyone else is gone, been gone, long gone, so what will you do? You weren’t supposed to get this far, but you have, so now what? Live in the party house forever, sleeping on couch cushions on a floor, until the roof caves in? Can’t just wait for the societal collapse now can we? How does one prepare for a “future” in this wicked world of debt slavery? So many questions, so many questions. Until next time dear readers, when the party ends, it’s over, & it’s time to move on. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Otherwise, the death of novelty. What is “novel” anymore? We’ve gone so overboard into novelty, that nostalgia is being reinvented in some neo-bizarro manner, just to keep the general population mentally occupied while they gradually lose one freedom after another. Bread, circuses, & pseudo-novelty, as the 1st-world writhes in its own death throws, the middle-class becoming seemingly nonexistent, & the divide between them & us becomes Grand Canyonesque in its shadowy grandeur. Oh those days of old, those salad days, so to speak, have all become derelict buildings, with the copper ripped out, stripped to the foundations as they await their respective demolitions to make way for the new world order Planet Earth. Many of those supposedly “channeled messages” that I listen to for some modicum of entertainment value, they talk about a split, like a metaphysical split, between this 3d prison planet Earth, & some new 5d Earth, where everyone’s dreams come true in a magical utopian Earth of abundance & benevolence. Well, I guess I got stuck on shithole 3d Earth, because clearly, if I’m here, I didn’t make it to the “new 5d Earth,” as it were. Nope, I guess I slept right through the boarding time, then the subsequent flight out, as I am most definitely still here on 3d blah Earth, waking up this morning to yet another miserable day here trapped in this meat suit, bound to the medicine, locked inside my solitary cell in the proverbial gulag, with a little fish carved into the wall, along with some words that read, “I was here.”
Sadly for yours truly, if the power ever gets turned off, it’ll be like I was never here, along with most everyone else. I MUST hard copy these words I spew, before I’m totally erased, as though my mouth-breathing commoner peasant self was never born, never made an absolute mess of his life, & never died alone in the night, just blown away like a tiny pillar of salt on a windy beach, & that’s it. That’s ALL this life will be, if one can even call that a “life,” & it can be easily summed up in that illustration I just detailed for you. A little pile of salt, a little pillar, not much, barely an inch high, just a gram maybe, enough to change the taste of one or two bites from the food on the table, but not enough to crystallize into a gem. All of a sudden…POOF, one day the wind on the beach just blows you away, your little pillar spreading each grain individually onto the sand before the waves come & wash you back into the ocean, never to come together again. Two very different worlds between them & us, as I’ve said. To speculate from their view, one can only ponder what it’s like to have birth-given notability, a lineage, alleged “noble” bloodlines, & to grow up in such an environment, what a world that must be, right? Power, wealth, born with royalty in your blood, what a totally different world that is, & from their perspective, I get it. I don’t agree with it, but I get it. Maybe I only don’t agree because I am on this side of the coin, or perhaps I don’t abide those who abuse their power for malevolence, or it could be both, yes?
Am I jealous? I wouldn’t call it “jealousy,” per se, but more like I feel let down because I had did not have such accesses to knowledge that might have exploited my intelligence in a much healthier manner. I had to do all of this, whatever this is that I do, gradually over time, because there was no internet growing up for Gen-X, & as a general principle for the commoners, there was much less access to knowledge outside of your respective spheres wherever you lived. We were TV babies for the most part, & television programming was the teacher. There we libraries, sure, but to compare an old-school library to looking up anything on your phone in a few seconds, is just asinine. Your phone IS the library, & the university, & the workplace for some, it’s everything, right there in your pocket or purse. It’s not only there, it’s watching you, listening to you, all day, every day, 24/7 that little surveillance apparatus is on & feeding data to the AI. Even when it says it’s off, it’s on, & I’d wager that it has a feature designed within it that specifically goes into HYPER-surveillance mode when your battery supposedly dies, & it appears to be sitting there lifeless. Nope, & if you believe in the AI becoming and/or already being “sentient,” then your phones, laptops, tablets, are all giving life to the AI, basically birthing the AI, for lack of a better term. Now, think about how this has been going on now for nearly 30 years already. Now, think again about how the powers-that-be would react to a sentient AI? First of all, do you think they’d tell you? No. Second, these maniacs are power-hungry, all taking chunks before the Great Collapse comes so they can rebuild their individual little kingdoms in a new world order, & they NEED the AI to help them accomplish that, so behind the scenes, they are waging little wars for pieces of the AI, & thus, will never expose themselves to the public because that could jeopardize the entire agenda.
I don’t get why they would even care anymore. Most of the masses are so dumbed-down, would it really matter if they came right out & stated their plan, their real agenda? They already do actually, only covertly via predictive programming, broadcasting said programming all over the world. They do it through movies, television, music, & they really love doing it through kid’s shows too. It’s called “programming” for a reason, but there you go…that’s a perfect real-time example of how most people do not even put together that it’s called “television programming.” The words are right there, RIGHT THERE, “spelling” out what they do, but what do most people do? They change the channel to a different program they want to watch, then go grab another pint of Ben & Jerry’s because they’re cheating on their diabetes. These programs are “broadcast,” & again, right there in the words. Like a magic spell, “broadcast programming,” & by telling you what they’re doing, the karmic hook unhooks from their lip, & hooks YOU instead, nice & snug, like a largemouth bass on the line. It’s YOUR free will to watch, but the problem I have with that, is that it’s kind of hard for humans to instinctively know these things, & if no one shows/tells you, because no one knows, because information is suppressed by a global bureaucracy at the expense of human potential as a whole, how is the blame entirely on you? I do not concur with that, no, I don’t concur with that at all. I know life isn’t fair…duh…but if those atop the power pyramid are aggressively & openly cheating just to play the game in “God-mode,” it becomes un-winnable for most of us, & to take advantage in that manner, to exploit humans by creating the ignorance, & then assume the blame is completely removed from yourselves, is bullshit. I call “BULLSHIT!” Now, if the people were to know all of the real truths, then STILL allowed themselves to be programmed, that is a whole different sport, Sport, but this little trick of hiding it into the common language, all while making the programming as appealing as possible, is just sinister, as well as unnatural, & it doesn’t bind the power in the shadows to a free pass, at least I hope not.
There has to be a Divine counter-balance of sorts, right? There HAS to be. I just refuse to accept that malevolent darkness at this level, one that is literally enslaving the general population, can be allowed to continue this. Where are the benevolent ones? The real light warriors? The Angels & Archangels that supposedly stayed true to God when Paradise was lost & the Fallen Ones fell. Are WE spawned from the Fallen Ones? Is that why history is filled with horror, & war, & terror, & a them, & an us? Are we the descendants of Cain? This is like Pandemonium, the city of the hell-demons, or rather, it’s on that path, or maybe just revealing its true nature, but I don’t know, what do I know? I’m just one moron writing from a worn-out MacBook Pro in a rented room, barely staying alive, living like some kind of roaming vagabond. All I have left are these words. It appears that any sort of “Divinity” has truly forsaken yours truly, so my hopes in any kind of “Divine Reckoning,” unfortunately, are slipping away. I suppose if everything does go sideways, I’ll have an advantage in that I know how to “live” with nothing. Oh man, how would that sordid scenario play out? Say the power goes off, which means no electricity, obviously, but also no lights, no gas, & GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…no internet. Can you imagine? I’d say 24 hours TOPS before mega-panic ensues. Looting, rioting, robbing, killing, you will see humanity slip into barbaric primal state so fast, that your head won’t have time to spin. Major cities, one of which I am in, will be total war zones, as society devolves into full-on survival mode, & fleeing to the city won’t get you far, because there’s no gas, remember? Food will get taken quickly, the pharmacies too, & once the desperation sets in, people will start robbing gas & stealing any car they can to get somewhere, but where will they go? Where will YOU go?
If there’s nowhere to go, where do you go? I’m going to have to save that one for my book, “The Great Quote Hunt.” Maybe someday I’ll publish it, a testament to my newly acquired “I was here” mantra. Nothing crazy, nothing fancy, hell, it’s already written, so I just have to organize it, add the animations, probably docu-sign some ridiculous paperwork, because bureaucratic paperwork means everything here in Brazil, doesn’t it? Bonus 5 points for you if you get that reference. I’ll give you a hint: Terry Gilliam …those 2 links will guide you where you need to go, like a digital Tuttle. Speaking of that movie, geez, talk about predictive programming. There’s a team of writers & directors, mostly writers as these films are derived from scripts, but regardless, take Terry Gilliam as an example, it’s either raw genius that they produce works that actually become the reality they envision, or they know beforehand. I lean toward the former, desperately needing to believe these people are true artists, but I cannot completely dismiss the latter, in that these productions all contribute to the programming of society…i.e…controlling the future. Orwell, Huxley, Gilliam, & those are just the ones I am referencing here, but there’s many more.
Nowadays, there’s just no room for it I suppose, especially with AI taking over. Soon, there will only be writers that exist only inside the matrix, as actual writers like yours truly get weeded out & banished, exiled for being virtual thought criminals. It won’t just be writers though, & I have already seen articles talking about AI performing complex life-saving surgeries on humans. On those two facts alone, think about how vast the range is where AI can, & will, do human jobs. They can work 24/7, with no interruptions, nor any paycheck, so what do you think will happen when the tech becomes advanced enough to perform nearly all of the jobs that humans now do? Has anyone written a book about that? I guess if you collectively compiled all of my articles on my site here of me ranting about the soon-to-be dystopian present, I have. Of course, as I mentioned in some prior post, I have to print this all out into hard copy to save it forever, because if the power ever goes out, ALL of this is gone, just gone, & I’ll lose on my bet that I can establish with a carved-in-stone epitaph, the words, “I was here.” Until next time dear readers, what will you do, what mark will you leave to let the future know that you were here? Three little words, like three little birds, singing in the setting sun. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Which is better? Pick a quote below:
“If there’s nowhere to go, where do you go?” ~Fish F Fish🎣
If there’s nowhere to go, go somewhere else.” ~Fish F Fish🎣
Important words for an addict, “My drugs,” because that’s numero uno when you’re a junkie, your drugs. Where are my drugs, how much of my drugs are left, how soon will I need to call my dealer, when can I make a run?…these are the only things that matter, when you’re an addict, especially if you’re on the needle. If you’re on the needle, you’re done. Done. Period. With all this fetty floating around, it’s just a matter of time. Barely anyone gets out alive already, ESPECIALLY once they’re on the needle. It’s a dark world, as self-centered as it gets, because all that matters, is my drugs.
You grab your spoon, your crusty spoon, so much dope has been on that spoon, dope, & hope, all gone. Waiting sucks, so you give it a little heat, just a touch, & swirl it around, then drop your cotton, maybe a new one, maybe a used one, doesn’t matter. Might be some residue on an old one, so let’s use that one, yeah. Now a fresh spike, oh no, it’s my last one, but it’s a freshie, so no worries. Pop it, stick it, pull her up, the gun is now loaded. Where will you hit?…gotta make sure the gun is in your mouth before you pull the trigger, look at all those places where veins used to be, damn, all shot to hell, fuck, look around, looking, oh there’s one, one little spot, got it. Stabby time, & stick, it’s in, just pull up some blood to make sure I didn’t go to far, oh yes, clean shot, looks good, looks good, & plunge away. There she is. Hey girl…mmmmmmm. Hey there sweet girl. Back in our room, aren’t we girl? Just you & I. Oh wow, the room is getting smaller, like a vignette, there’s that weird taste in my mouth, oh but the vignette is closing, yes, the room getting smaller, & smaller, eyes are closing, show is over, last thoughts, as the vignette closes down to a pin, one little pin of light, one eye barely still open, stay awake maybe?…what did you say?…shhhhh…then just let go. Let go. Bye. Your body pukes out foam, trying to stay alive, but nope, you shot too much, & there’s no Narcan, or anyone around to save you anyway, & you die, alone. That’s the end, the end of your movie, & someone will find you, or rather, your body, all rotting & stinking of gruesome death.
.This ain’t gonna be no PSA for “just saying no,” or some corny nonsense like that, nope. Just illustrating the world of the dope fiend, & what comes first. I’ve seen moms do dope with their kids in the car seat. It takes away everything you have, everyone you love, everything, dope takes it all, once you’re on the needle. I lived that world for a long time, much too long. Dark days…I’m amazed I’m still here, to be honest. Feels like I’m the only one left, & they all went the same way, impaled by the spike. The worst thing you lose, is your will to appreciate life, & particularly, time. Nope, just waste away, slow suicide, until one day you’re shooting ½ gram bags at once, just to get through a shift at work. It’s insane how dark this world can become. Wanna see? Here’s a video from Kensington, a neighborhood in Philadelphia, where it literally looks like a scene from The Walking Dead. Check it out.
Not good, is it? This is some new drug called “Tranq,” & I’m not very familiar with it, nor am I interested in doing the zombie walk, sheesh, look at these people. Does this look like “life” to you? Does it look like these people are “living?” Fuck no, & it just keeps getting worse & worse & worse. There’s thousands of these videos, it’s absolutely shameful. People lose hope though, when situations go south, & they have no money, & “life,” just seems impossible, BOOM, enter the drugs, & WHAM, you’re addicted, just like that. Over time, it grows, like a little troll in your gut, stabbing at your stomach when he needs his medicine, & the more time goes by, the harder he stabs, the deeper the knife plunges into the walls of your guts, & he yells, “FEED ME!” You get anxious, then you sweat, then your stomach goes berserk, then it’s hell, the hell of kicking dope. A hell that I reserve to wish only upon my worst enemies. One hell week, then you’re free. It seems like an eternity though, for some reason.
Yeah, it’s rough, particularly off the needle, which is why so many people die. They try to kick, they try hard, they fight, nothing works though to make the cramps stop, to make the pain stop, to make the manic mind stop. Nope, there’s nothing…except dope, of course, so then they go score, because the pain is unbearably rough, & they shoot a big shot because oh that pain, it’s so bad, & because they haven’t used for a bit, their tolerance is lower, & POOF, lights out. That’s it. Done. Out. Gone. Bye. You’re no longer among the living, & everyone who’s left has to clean up the mess you leave. Foam coming out of your mouth, piss & shit on your crotch area, maybe running down your legs, cold, blue, stiffened up, just a body, as the soul has departed, & that’s the end of that person’s story, just like that. Everything they did in this life, from being born to growing up & going to school & making lifelong friends & relationships & learning your individually respective talents, & then to leaving home, & going to college maybe, & then you graduate & because college is a total waste of time for most people, you bee-bop around until you find a job, whatever. Can’t speculate generally on lives after college, because everyone goes in a million different directions when that time comes. Some find a “career,” & go on to get married, & have some kids, & get divorced, & all that made-for-television kind of life. Some go other ways, & maybe they take risks, they gamble on life, & that’s their life, just rolling with the flow. Some stay golden, & they live in the neighborhoods with the big houses, & pools, & they’re virtuous, despite their wealth. I suppose they just got a better ticket for the ride, but all-in-all, you get the point, right? Everyone goes different ways, but some, more-so than ever, go the way of addiction. Doesn’t matter what you do, or where you come from, there’s been an addict from every socio-eco-demographic you can think of. It’s a monster, a virus, a disease, a cancer, all of it in one really, & once you’re infected, it’s for life, unfortunately. Such is the way of my drugs. Do you get it yet? When you’re on the sauce, the sauce is boss. Good quote. I’m gonna have to add it to my book, The Great Quote Hunt, but I digress, as usual. Where was I? Oh yes, there is nothing else but getting well, as they say, once that needle is in your arm. If you’re not banging away, there’s still hope for you, but like I said, in the beginning, if the needle bag is open, your life is about to close up for the night, the darkest night of your life.
Oh but look at the time; I just heard the attention span alert go off. That must mean it’s once again time to wrap up yet another article composed by yours truly. There were good times, & hell, there were GREAT times with the drugs, but in the end, the dope casino wins & you walk out with nothing left but your socks, sometimes not even those. Not to mention, there are serious long-term effects, mental AND physical, as the human body isn’t built to exist in such a way. Self-care is important, but self-medicating to dull your wounds is no bueno. It doesn’t last, it never lasts, ever, & sadly, every junkie always gets to that moment when the drugs are almost gone, down to maybe a hit left, then gone, nothing, & you tell yourself, “I got this, I can beat it; just need a few days of detox, & I’m good to go.” Ummmmmmm…that’s a hard “NO,” NO NO NO…that NEVER works, ever, so maybe the best bet for all of you reading this, is to just never do drugs. 99 out of 100 lose the war, so do you honestly believe that you would be the one to get out completely? Ah, the junkie mind, the priorities so out of whack, & all that matters, is that phrase, “getting well.” Until next time dear readers, rewind the tape & peep my last few posts prior to this one. Get your respective selves all caught up. I could keep going, I could always keep going, write-write-writing about life, but I have a book to work on, so I can’t spend all my time on these random thought-articles I post, nor the Foozers, not until my book is done. Like I said, there’s PLENTY to go backwards in time on to find some enlightenments here in my opus of sorts. Find the “SEARCH” query, type in anything, ANYTHING, & a few fish will always bite. Over 6000 pages here…oh yes, that’s right, you heard me, SIX-THOUSAND PAGES of my madness, transcribed for all of you of course, & for none of you at all. That is the way, & I abide the truth. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
I’m just going to answer this one because it’s easy for yours truly to answer, & that answer is: When you have no parents, what “traditions” are you supposed to be keeping up with? When you’re born a bastard black sheep, that never fit in, then burned in the fire, what is there that’s so sacred to uphold, much less any sort of traditions? Unfortunately, it wasn’t a virgin birth like sweet baby Jesus supposedly had, no, for I was most likely tricked into this world, then they all left me, in every way possible, be it death, abandonment, a tornado of dysfunctionality, it doesn’t matter, as the same answer applies, which again, is when you have no parents, how are you suppose to uphold said traditions that involve removing you from the equation? Pffft…you don’t, & you struggle through a life on enslavement on a prison planet all alone. We all die alone anyway, right? Fuck it. In the wise words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.” So sayeth FisH™🎏
Incidentally, as I was just about to publish this, I had yet another vision. It was a time back in the 5th grade or so, & I was alone after school, as always, because despite every other kid in the world at that age having a place to go after school, yours truly didn’t have shit, so I’d clean up this little stupid church I went to school at for a fucking can of coke, then wait for hours until I was picked up. They let you grade your own papers under an “honor code,” & because I had no honor, or concept of honor, I gave myself straight-As all the way through, & never even really did the assignments at all. Yep, I remember one day, one vivid day, when I was by the dumpster, wondering about what I would do when I grew up, not realizing that I’d still be throwing garbage in a dumpster after work over 30 years later. I thought of a kid I knew, in jail now, prison, to be precise. He ended up being nothing, not a God-damned thing but a reject, exiled from society, banished for not following the “rules,” with debilitating mental disorders, & trapped in the body of a giant. Oh to think of the old times, the salad days, all that time between now & then seems like a flash, because unlike most, it didn’t mean a fucking thing, to anyone. Just in, then out, & it’ll be as if we was never here. What difference would it make if we went today, or tomorrow, or a month from now, a year, 10 years, 50 more years? It wouldn’t, & that’s about as humble as one can be, to realize they’re nothing, never were anything, nor ever will be anything, & this entire trip through prison planet Earth was an incredible waste of my time. That stupid little kid at the church dumpster those many years ago…such a stupid little fuck, so naive to the real ways of this wicked world. Way to eat your own tail you wretched serpent. The extent of my pseudo-talent, eating my own tail, in words, in actions, in everything, & someday, hopefully, I’ll eat my own head off too. For all of you, & for none of you at all.
Yours truly is undergoing a week-long stay in a shitty hotel in a ratchet part of North Denver, & oh my, has it been fun. First off, the room smells; it smells like overdoses, prostitution, moldy shower curtains, & an A/C unit that pumps out “fresh” air smells of must & ass. There’s no microwave, or mini-fridge, so I’ve been living on fresh fruits & donuts. I had to use some Macgyver tactics to keep the curtain closed, draped over a window that has no lock, so theoretically, a thief, or a serial killer, could easily just open the window & hop in. Fortunately, I am armed to the teeth, so if anyone comes in, it’ll be the last window they ever jump through, but I digress, now where was I? Oh yes, the bed is actually comfortable, surprisingly, but the A/C blows right onto it, so if I’m lucky enough to sleep for a few hours, I have to bundle up with the extra comforter I stole from the maid’s laundry area when the managers weren’t looking. The irony, I know, talking about thieves but I had to steal a comforter. It’s not actually theft, since I’m not keeping it, obviously, so I consider it as just borrowing. Speaking of thievery, the door has definitely been kicked in; the frame shows signs of breaking & entering, & even though the door locks, the lock was put on backwards. Let’s see…what else before I move on to the outside of the room…what else, what else? Oh, I am using the drawers as a makeshift table/place to write this on my computer, & as I look to my left, while I type this, I see that the left drawer is missing entirely, which leaves a nice little hidey-hole for my cat to play in. Poor little guy, but he’s been such a super-trooper over this last week we’ve gone through. Luckily, I think I’ve found a safe place for us to stay, but more on that later. Now, let’s talk about the outside of the room.
I’m right by a major 4-lane highway, & although the sound of the cars has become like white noise to me, the sirens from the emergency vehicles that speed by every 15-20 minutes or so is quite loud. Since I just mentioned “emergency vehicles,’ we will segue into the emergency vehicles that have been here EVERY SINGLE DAY that I’ve been here. Not exaggerating either…EVERY SINGLE DAY. The first day some guy overdosed by the dumpster, which was/still is, over-flowing with trash. Yep, overdosed right next to it, which resulted in 3 police cruisers, a firetruck, & an ambulance, in no particular order. Don’t know if he died, but the manger told me he overdosed. I didn’t see that incident until after he was in the ambulance & heading away. Next day though, I DID see an incident with my own eyes. Ready for this one? It’s a real doozy of a story.
Okay, so an Indian fellow, a tall Indian fellow with the stereotypical Indian guy perv-stache, was walking around completely naked. No shoes or socks even, as naked as it gets. This dude had a pubic bush that was so big, there might have been some baby birds nesting in there. Quite revolting, right? He was on the phone, just parading around in his skinsuit, his little mushroom tip just barely sticking out of the bush, talking to a party unknown on the phone. The manager called the cops, & I suppose the naked Indian noticed, so he ran back to his room, & put clothes on, some jeans & a pink button up shirt. Very classy. Then, after clothing himself, the moron came back outside, still talking on the phone, just as the cops arrive. The manager, a toothless former methhead named Christy, pointed to him & said, “That’s him, that’s the guy.” The officer told him to get off of his phone so he could ask him some questions, & what does Apu do? He pulls a knife on the police officer that told him to get off the phone, & so, the officer takes his baton, whacks the guy’s hand so he drops the knife, & charges him with a solid open-field front tackle. Very brave of the cop to do, but he did it, as the other cops immediately pulled out their guns. The tackling officer then gets up, backs up, & one of the other cops hit Apu with the taser gun. BZZZZZZZZZZZZ…followed by a scream from Apu, as he writhes around on the ground with 50,000 volts buzzing though his body. Then all of the cops dog pile him as they cuff him up. Apparently, in Colorado, if you get tazed, you go to a hospital, rather than jail, which is standard procedure in a liberal “blue-city” shithole. Nonetheless, that was day two, & you know there’s a hat trick coming next.
Today, I’m not sure what happened, but as I pulled up to Hotel Hell from my daily job hunting quest, there were several cop cars leaving, so maybe it was an unruly guest, as the other guests besides yours truly are the dregs of society, so perhaps yet another overdose. Maybe a streetwalker got herself all smacked up for coming home short. I’m pretty sure some of the guests are hookers & their pimps. There’s a shitload of Mexican construction workers, 5-6 piled high into one-bedroom rooms. There’s a few that clearly just got of jail recently. They have a certain kind of walk, a posture, if you will, from walking in lines in their respective prison garb. Maybe other people don’t notice said posture, but I do, & in conjunction with the jailhouse tattoos, to me it’s obvious that some of the guests here were locked up recently. One had a giant clown face tattooed on the back of his shaved head, so yeah, it’s obvious. Before I digress into some random tangent, I do have mention the parking lot. I already told you about the overflowing eyesore dumpster, which is at the back of the parking lot, & as for the parking lot itself, it has so many holes in it that it looks like a cluster-bomb war happened, similar to Dresden circa 1944. I walk out onto the balcony often to smoke a cig, because one, I don’t want to miss the next “incident,” that goes down, & two, to watch my car so no junkie breaks into it. I have my 12-gauge boomstick locked in the trunk, as well as my safe, which doesn’t have anything in it , even though it does, but that’s my secret. Regardless, I get up & walk outside every hour or so to do a perimeter watch, since I cannot sleep very well due to this elephant-on-my-back anxiety I have from being all on my own now in this life.
Yep, just Milo the cat & yours truly now. No more family, except a cousin, & a handful of friends that I can count on one hand with my thumb & pointer finger still outward facing. My life has done a complete 180 degree turn & then some since these corrupt democratic communists stole the election, then proceeded to destroy this once great country, now termed the USSA, the United Socialist States of America. Believe it or not, this country is now arguably a communist dictatorship, being systematically turned into smoldering rubble. Do you think Potato Joe Biden is the POTUS? I’ll clear that up right now if you do…& the answer is: NO, NO NO NO NO NO he isn’t anything, except a perverted puppet. The real POTUS, the one in the shadows giving the orders, is none other than former POTUS Barack Obama, a CIA plant, who was s-elected to do one thing, proverbially burn this country to the ground, which is happening, right on schedule. Us “regular folks,” can barely put food in the fridge, rents are outrageous, you need two jobs AT LEAST, just to get by. It’s fucking ridiculous. A friend of mine told me it’s because we are in the Kali Yuga, which is the 4th, & worst era for mankind that lasts about ohhhhh…450,000 years or so. It’s an era of destruction, which makes sense, because as I’ve written about ad nauseam, the end goal by 2030 is for 7 billion, BILLION, of us gone. Us “regular folks,” of course, because the so-called “ruling elites,” plan on rebuilding the planet after we are all wiped out, with a one world order agenda. AI is getting exponentially more advanced by the second now, I presume, so it’s just a matter of time before most of us are jobless since AI will be able the jobs that most of us do, even as far as performing life-saving surgeries. It’s going to be like some Mad Maxian dystopian surveillance state nightmare, & most people have no idea.
Fortunately, I do, but what can I do about it? Nothing, nothing at all, & as a writer, I’m fucked. There’s already a button on here that one can press to write whatever they want to write about with the AI assistant. Maybe I should try it out, since we’re on the subject, & see what happens. Ready? Okay, here we go, & be sire to keep in mind that whatever comes next in this article, is the AI, & NOT yours truly. I’ll be right back…enjoy the cock pic…
The Kali Yuga, also known as the Age of Kali, is a concept in Hindu cosmology that refers to the current age or era we are living in. According to Hindu scriptures, the Kali Yuga is the final of the four Yugas (ages) within a cyclic pattern that repeats endlessly.In the Hindu tradition, each Yuga is associated with a different set of qualities, societal norms, and spiritual conditions. The Kali Yuga is considered to be the darkest and most challenging of all the ages. It is characterized by a decline in morality, spiritual awareness, and a rise in materialism and ignorance.According to ancient scriptures such as the Mahabharata and the Vishnu Purana, the Kali Yuga is said to be a time of widespread corruption, conflicts, and moral decay. It is believed that human beings in this age are predominantly driven by selfishness, greed, and harmful desires. Virtues such as honesty, compassion, and integrity are believed to be rare during this era.However, despite these challenges, the concept of the Kali Yuga also offers a glimmer of hope. It is said that in this age, spiritual liberation can be achieved through simple acts of devotion and by surrendering to a higher power. It is believed that even a small amount of spiritual practice or righteous action can have a profound impact in this era of darkness.The concept of the Kali Yuga serves as a reminder to embrace spiritual values and strive for personal growth amidst the challenging circumstances of the current age. It encourages individuals to seek inner transformation and cultivate virtues that can uplift themselves and the world around them.Overall, the concept of the Kali Yuga provides a framework to understand and navigate the complexities of our existence, reminding us that even in the darkest of times, there is always the possibility of spiritual awakening and growth.
You see that? THAT is what the AI can do now, in a matter of 3-4 seconds. Crazy, right? There’s no way a human can keep up, especially when the AI gets more advanced. Writers like yours truly, will become obsolete, & this is just as it relates to writers, now imagine all of the other things the AI can/will do. I don’t know about you, but to me, this is fucking insane, particularly when I know that those so-called “ruling elites,” have a sinister AI-based agenda, as they want to merge with the AI, to become like gods, living much longer than the average human life span, as we all get slaughtered because we will become “less-than,” so to speak, & only get in the way of their new world order plan. 7 BILLION, with a big B, gone, gone by 2030, hence why I always emphasize that if you think things are crazy now, just wait, because the figurative roller-coaster isn’t even at the top of the first drop. Hell, the damn thing hasn’t even started going up the track, compared to what’s coming. Everyone is feeling tremendous social anxiety analogous to getting on the roller coaster, anticipating the ride, but as I said, just sitting there waiting for the safety bar to drop, since the real ride hasn’t even begun yet. Stay seated, & keep your arms & legs inside the carriage dear readers.
When 2024 gets here, & all of these bureaucratic corrupted soulless power-drunk politicians atop the power pyramid wage war on one another to take the reigns, THAT is when the ride begins, & no matter how bad it seems now, it’s only going to get worse, MUCH MUCH MUCH worse. So buckle up dear readers, & until next time, prepare accordingly. So sayeth FisH™🎏
Someone wanna tell me how the heck this documentary, “Titanic Sub: Lost at Sea,” aired in the UK on June 22, THE SAME DAY that the sub that was allegedly descending down to the Titanic, supposedly imploded? I am a video producer, & there is no way possible, NO WAY POSSIBLE, that a documentary film could be produced that quickly. I knew there was something odd about this nonsense from the get-go, but this is some serious next-level programming, to keep people distracted form what’s really going on in the world. Personally, I am stunned, utterly STUNNED, that I woke up today & discovered this insanity. Would you like to see some proof? Of course you do, so I am going to provide numerous screenshots, as well as guide you how to see for yourselves, so that YOU, YOU can bear witness as to what these broadcasters really do to keep the populous distracted while the so-called “ruling elites,” orchestrate power moves behind the scenes. Here we go…
On Sunday, June 18th, the mission to reach the Titanic supposedly begins, right? Anyone can look this up on whatever respective search engine you might use. I left the CNN logo in the screenshots, so you can all see how complacent the number one fake news network is in this hoax. “Truly extraordinary” is right…holy hell, I knew the Operation Mockingbird CIA CNN mainstream fake news was bad, but this is on a whole other level. Okay, & I repeat, on day one, Sunday June 18th, according to CNN, the descent supposedly begins. All the mainstream media outlets start airing coverage. Almost all other news is put on the back burner, as they all shift their focus to this “historic mission” to reach the Titanic…
Day 2, reports that they’ve “lost contact” with the sub, & again, keep in mind, that THERE IS NO SUB & NONE OF THIS IS REAL. This ENTIRE story is a hoax, there was no sub, no one died, & this is all ENTIRELY FICTIONAL, but for the sake of discovery, we will play along. Let’s now go to day 3.
The fake news scripted narrative continues, with reports of “banging noises” being picked up on sonar. Can you see the scripting here? Building up tension, increasing the anxiety of the viewers/readers, just like a script from a movie or TV show, & oh no, they only have a few days left of oxygen, it’s all so dramatic. I have to keep repeating that THIS IS NOT A REAL STORY, just to emphasize how fake the news is that the CIA, along with other alphabet agencies in places like the UK & Canada, orchestrates, TO CONTROL THE NARRATIVE, TO CONTROL THE ZEITGEIST, TO CONTROL YOU, IT’S ALL JUST A SCRIPTED NARRATIVE, & they’ve been doing this for decades now, so it’s ULTRA-formulaic in its nature by now. Let’s move to Wednesday, June 20th. OH MY, THEY’RE ALMOST OUT OF OXYGEN, THE “RESCUERS” HAVE TO HURRY, THE SUSPENSE BUILDS. I hope those of you who read this are following this, & what I am exposing here, in real time. This is a BIG, a YUGE deal, because they’ve been caught, caught by citizen journalists, such as yours truly. Let’s continue…
Wednesday, June 21, they deploy search teams, except they actually didn’t, because again, THERE WAS NO SUB, NO ONE IS DEAD, & THIS IS A BULLSHIT STORY, but look at the cute little graphic they made, supposedly sourced by NOAA, The National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration, just to add some science to this made-up story, to make it more convincing. I wish I could explain in words how surreal this feels to find this as soon as I woke up this morning. If this goes viral, I expect yet ANOTHER made up event to get everyone looking the other way from the fact that we, WE THE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS, used our own research methods to not only debunk this nonsense entirely, but more importantly, WE are exposing the fake news for what they truly are, which is just that, FAKE NEWS. One after another after another, pumping out this crap, & if you do a search with a query like I used below, you can scroll down for yourself to see just how many fake news agencies are involved in this fiction. I simply typed in, “when did the titanic sub descend,” & look what pops up…
They have timelines, they PAID WRITERS TO WRITE THIS CRAP FOR THEM, & I knew this went deep(pun intended), but to go this deep, wow, even yours truly is a bit stunned. Unfortunately, I cannot post video on here unless I pay for an upgrade, which I refuse to do, but if you type in what I typed in the image above, & scroll down, you can see WITH YOUR OWN EYES, how countless mainstream media outlets are part of the CIA’s Operation Mockingbird fake news apparatus. THIS IS NOT JUST NEWS FROM THE USA. The UK is involved, Canada is involved, the pinnacles of the Western World are ALL PART OF THIS. I’ve told you all, Jesus Christ I’ve told you all, for OVER A DECADE NOW about these things, & I have taken so much shit, been called a “conspiracy theorist” countless times, amongst other things, & yet again, my “theory,” has been vindicated, as it relates to this “tragic lost sub” fictional scripted-narrative BULLSHIT story. I don’t care about any “I told you so” garbage, I just want you people to WAKE UP ALREADY, wake up as to how much you all are continuously lied to, over & over & over & over again. They program all of you, brainwashing you with news that isn’t even real. That’s why it’s called “broadcast programming” for fuck’s sake. It’s right there in the words. Think about all those “around the water cooler” discussions about the daily news, & how much of it is probably all made up, yet it gets in your head, in everyone’s head, as a control mechanism, to ultimately keep you all distracted, as well as compliant to a globalist agenda, albeit unwillingly, but I cannot digress too much right now, as I usually do, because we are not done here. Now let’s go to the final day, June 22.
Uh oh, a “statement was issued,” stating that all 5 of the men on board, have perished. What a sad story, the sub allegedly “imploded,” no bodies can be recovered, & the U.S. Navy supposedly finds a “debris field.” Can you comprehend the depths of how sinister this fake news game is? Well, prepare to have your mind blown, because what’s this I found? I hinted at it at the beginning, but I saved the best part for the end. Notice the date that these men supposedly died, June 22, & keep that in mind as you read on…
Look at what premiered on what looks like Netflix in the UK on the SAME DAY they reported the sub was lost. A 75 minute documentary, PRODUCED, THEN AIRED ON THE SAME DAY THE “ADVENTURERS” ALLEGEDLY PERISHED, about the Titanic sub, being lost at sea. I make videos, & I can assure you, with every fiber of my video-producing being, that there is no way possible, NO WAY POSSIBLE, that a documentary could’ve been put together that quickly, then aired on THE SAME DAY THE SUB SUPPOSEDLY IMPLODED, on what looks like Netflix in the UK. The only way, is if if was pre-produced, before the entire event, even supposedly happened. PRE-PRODUCED, proving definitively, that this was all fake news, just like everything else the CIA Operation Mockingbird media broadcasts via their mainstream media “news” apparatus. There is no real news anymore, it’s all just scripts, narratives read from teleprompters by WELL-paid actors, used to steer the zeitgeist in whatever way they choose, TO CONTROL YOU, ALL OF YOU, now how does that make you feel? Angry? Frustrated? Both? It should, because it’s a big lie, & they’ve been lying to all of you for a long, long time. How much proof do you need? As you know, the FisH™ abides, so I’ll just drop a series of images here, so you can see for yourselves, or even better, DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, so you can see on YOUR computer, or phone, or tablet, or whatever you use, WITH YOUR OWN EYES, this fake story EXPOSED.
Notice how I kept the dates in most of the screenshots, because I want the proof to be definitive, that this entire “Titanic sub disaster” story, was a farce from day one, aired for one reason, & one reason only, TO KEEP YOU LOOKING LEFT, WHILE THE POWERS-THAT-BE COMMIT CRIMES ON THE RIGHT, as is par for their course. None of this is new, only this time, WE GOT THEM, caught them them dead-to-rights, as the saying goes I think, or how about “caught like a dolphin in a tuna net,” which I literally just made up. Sounds better, right? I like my analogy. Regardless, look at this series of screenshots, do your own eyes lie? Mine don’t; the timestamps are right there.
Time to wrap this up, for now anyway. What a morning, what a whirlwind morning, & if this goes viral, as I mentioned earlier, expect some other fake news nonsense to pop up, to take everyone’s eyes off of this Titanic sub hoax EXPOSED, & divert everyone’s attention elsewhere, so their game of information control can continue. Until next time dear readers, turn off the television, & most definitely, DO NOT, & I repeat, DO NOT believe anything you see that gets broadcast via the CIA Operation Mockingbird mainstream media fake news propaganda machine. IT’S ALL A BIG LIE, & it’s time to expose them for what they truly are. WE ARE THE MEDIA, we citizen journalists are the media. WE are the REAL media now. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
“News,” as in “what’s new,” & what’s new, that’s going on locally, nationally, and/or globally, as a compendium, we call “the news.” We all like keeping up with current events, we want to know the story, the REAL story, & that’s the role of said news, to report on real stories, to report on real events, when they happen, as they happened, as factually as possible. Well, as anyone with, at the very least, a proverbial hamster in their head running on an equally proverbial wheel knows, the news, has been a continuous agglomeration of all of the chaos going on around the planet, most often reported (if you can call reading a teleprompter “reporting”) in some kind of quasi-hyperbolic manner, in order to keep people watching their UN-respectable respective news channels. It’s few & far between when there’s ever any GOOD news they report on though, is there?…so it equates to as I said, an exaggeratedly jumbled mess of all that’s chaotic, all that’s negative, all that’s shocking, because that’s what gets peoples’ attention these days, isn’t it? “Shock & awe,” sells; that’s the bottom line. The worse it is, the better it is for ratings, & so that’s what gets publicized, whether it’s publicized visually or via the written word. Now, let’s pursue some so-called news & see what’s going on then, shall we? We’ll spin the figurative globe & start wherever our finger lands, musing the latest articles, and/or whatever’s “breaking,” & work our way through it. Of course, I’m not going to be including fake news mainstream media propaganda outlets like CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, but wait, hang on a second…are they any real news outlets left?
Sure there are, only you won’t find them being broadcast via the televised programming that most people are brainwashed with, oh no no no, since the legit news networks would offer truth, & Clownworld doesn’t abide truth, & thus, is verboten, hence why you have to know where to find it. Here, we ONLY search for the real news, like hunting for diamonds on a beach. That’s right, & you all should know this by now, that yours truly ONLY researches REAL news, REAL events, the delivers it to all of YOU. because that aforementioned programming, is what has not only ruined the minds of many people, it has knowingly programmed them with an entirely false sense of what the REAL reality even is. It’s right there in the words…”broadcast programming,” so if one wants to find real news, they have to utilize sites like The Gateway Pundit & Breitbart, for example. These two sites compile the ACTUAL news of the day, without spin, without subjectivity, & without writers and reporters who work for the CIA, spewing out whatever wag-the-dogish garbage they are told to, as well paid to, barf out all over the daily turning of the zeitgeist windmill. Obviously, I could go right to either of those two sites I just spoke of, as those who seek real news do, but today, I am focusing on an up & coming news organization that may rival the two sites I just mentioned, albeit a friendly rivalry, for when it comes to the truth, one not cares how it’s delivered, only that it IS, in fact, delivered, in real-time, on-time. “What news site could FisH™ be referring to?,” you might be wondering. Great question, thanks for asking.
This site, which yours truly just recently discovered himself, & added to the title above, as well as bookmarked for himself, is SAN, the Straight Arrow News Network. What shoots things straighter than an arrow?…& on top of having a clever monicker, they have a team of dedicated contributors who filter out the truth from the lies, & give people the FACTS, not the fiction, offering a genuine perspective as opposed to the false conclusions drawn from that scripted-narrative nonsense being broadcast through your televisions. Their site is as professional as it gets, & I HIGHLY recommend that you download the app to your digital devices, turn on the notifications, & with that being said, let’s dive right in to today’s latest articles posted on SAN, & see what’s going on in a world, where the tide seems to FINALLY be turning from fantasy to reality. Many people are becoming increasingly turned-off by those erroneous scripted narratives, & just want to know what the hell is really going on. You can only lie to the public for so long, before the fickle nature of the mob grows cold at the thought of biased reporting being peddled by agenda-pushing peddlers who want nothing more than to get clicks, get paid, & propagate fear & anxiety, rather than simply telling the damn truth. Has it really become so outlandish, so offensive, telling the truth? It sure as, to the point of exiling those of us who DO the tell the truth, particularly yours truly, who has spent the last 6-7 years in the digital gulag for doing just that, exposing the truth, & writing about it here on this site.
SAN, Straight Arrow News…now that could catch on quickly, could it not? Giving it to you STRAIGHT, no bullshit, no fodder, just the honest-to-God truth as to what happens, when it happens, why it happens, & how it may or may not affect you directly…yes YOU, US, WE The People, the people who want to know the truth, & nothing but the truth. Okay, now let’s get into it. Dit-dit-dit-dit…dit-dit-dit-dit…first off, looks like Hunter Biden, the crack-smoking, prostitute-soliciting, degenerate son of the pseudo-POTUS Potato Joe Biden, that illegally “won” the 2020 election, via ballot harvesting, rigged voting machines, & corrupt vote-counters, has evidentially been caught yet again in even MORE nefarious activities, as if that’s shocking to anyone at this point. That’s correct, as it seems that newly released WhatsApp messages have been uncovered, detailing an exchange between Hunter Biden, & an employee from a Chinese energy company, orchestrating a $10 million deal for “favors,” & you can read all about it on SAN, by clicking HERE. FisH™ absolutely detests plagiarism or any theft of one’s intellectual property, & thus, attributes all credit to the details of the stories I will list, to the writers who actually wrote them, which I why I will simply do a quick paraphrasing of the published headline, provide the link to the story, then move on.
Up next…hang on, hang on a second, you know what, dear readers? If I continue to do this, this article will stretch the length of 197 combined attention spans, so what I think the best thing for YOU to do is, dear readers, is to go to SAN yourselves, the Straight Arrow News site, & do your own reading, for YOU, not for me. I can only illustrate their professionalism so well, & without YOU seeing it for yourself, what are we really accomplishing here? Nothing, so yes, just go tot he site, & read for yourselves. I am just happy I discovered this nascent site, so I want you to be happy discovering it as well for yourselves. SAN needs our support, the support of the American population, because with the collectively continued support of we who are sick & God-damned tired of being lied to on a seemingly never-ending basis by Operation Mockingbird mainstream media outlets like CNN, the Straight Arrow News Network will quickly grow, & become as big as the sites we are are already familiar with, sites like The Gateway Pundit & Breitbart. I am simply here to help, & to contribute whenever I can to promoting any/all news outlets that expose the REAL reality of what’s going on in this topsy-turvy world we are all stuck in together. The people want TRUTH…period. If they wanted fantasy, they’d watch Netflix all day, & before I digress into a diatribe about how too many people DO watch too much Netflix all day, I am going to wrap this article up. I just wanted to bring attention to SAN, The Straight Arrow News, so that hopefully, the few readers that still can see me, despite the AI-driven relentless shadowbanning of my site here, have another option as to where to go to find TRUTH, in a world that sadly still revolves around the lies & deception being broadcast by alphabet-agency-controlled propaganda broadcasters, like those that come free with your monthly cable bill.
Unfortunately, these days one has to look beyond the reach of their remote control to find out what the real news is all about, & if you can click a mouse, you can click on SAN, The Straight Arrow News website, see for yourselves, & then go a step further by bookmarking it, whether on your phones, your tablets, and/or your computers, adding it to your reading lists on those devices as well, & lastly, setting notifications to “ON,” so that YOU, are informed when real news breaks, & can rely on SAN to cover whatever those future breaking news events might be. Trust the reporters, writers, editors, & publishers at SAN to bring you the FACTS, & avoiding the fictions, so that YOU know what’s going on as soon as it happens, keeping you one step ahead of the fake news, & two steps ahead of the globalists who fund those Operation Mockingbird, scripted-narrative-driven propagandists, who only use their platforms to control the people, not to inform them. Until next time dear readers, listen to FisH™, who has never lied to you, or steered you wrong, especially as far as the truth goes, & download SAN, The Straight Arrow News app, to your respective devices now. If you want truth, you can always find it here, & wherever I direct you, is where to find where yours truly find the truths, the truths that I report to you. Again, that’s SAN, The Straight Arrow News. Click on it now, for YOU, not for me, for your sake, not for mine. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
For all of you, & for none of you at all…🎏
“ONLY facts matter, not fiction, as it relates to the daily news.” Fish F Fish🎏
Another bizarre dream, & I woke up throbbing wet. Old acquaintances were there, but only a few, & everyone else I did not know, yet is was SO FUCKING REAL. What can these dreams mean? How can I even describe this one? Hmmm…I’m going to have smoke & a pancake, let it replay a bit in my heady head, the head with a bottomless throat I’ll be right back. Hang tight, dear readers, for this is for all of you, & for none of you at all.
Oh man, how am I going to illustrate this? These dreams, these dreams I am having, what can they mean? I was in a mall of sorts, a mall of liminal space, filled with walking avatars, animated, for now anyway, until nary a soul, strolls no more, lost in a langoleirian time loop. They come, they stroll, they go, & nothing remains. There were no stores, like regular mall stores, it was all vendors, but what were they selling? Gah, it’s fading, dissolving away, like salt on a liquified spoon. I remember something, some girl was “selling” something, but there was no money, what did she have, what was she selling? Did I run into another girl, that girl? There’s a girl, you see, she comes into my dreams sometimes, only sometimes, & I wake up, heart on the floor, as she’s gone, disappeared once again. In this one, she asked me for heroin…YIKES…say what? “No, you silly girl,” but that’s not what I actually said, of course. Such an odd request, especially from her, yet when she asked, I replied without hesitation, “Yeah, actually I do have some, all we need are bangers,” & then POOF, she was gone, because we all kept walking along the moving floors, strolling through this mall, this downtown carousel mall. I tried hard to find her again, only to find my hardened life-pumper, beating in bits, scattered in the ceiling lights. We kept walking; I saw old comrades, albeit, just comrades, but not those friends, these were just mad lads that were never in the circle, outside the stone-hengian circle.
There were performers, doing some kind of happy hands show, & we kept walking. Again, I knew some, but didn’t know most.”Every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away.”(Heart) GET OUT OF MY HEAD…ARGGGGH!!! Why is this song stuck in the computer atop my neck? “Words that have no form, falling from these lips.”(Heart). Sheesh, go away heartworm, I’m trying to write for fuck’s sake. Now where was I? Oh yes, the girl, that girl. She was all I was looking for, I think, maybe I was looking for something/someone else. Forgot about the request for heroin, but where did she go? We walked, & walked, I tried to talk, so I talked, but I cannot recall the conversations, there was too much static in the attic, & the convos seemed to make no sense, to anyone. Whoops, a girl falls, but it’s someone else, some other girl, a wook chick, just a drunkard hippie. I fell too, right behind her, & I don’t know why, maybe the floor was wet, who knows? No “wet floor” signs, & can I even see my feet? When I got up, the wookette shippie was gone. Disorientation. Why did I fall? I took off my jacket; I threw my jacket, & something else, but I don’t know what, behind a random vendor’s shop, & I had to come back for these things later. I walked outside via an exit door, & saw a scene, a path, moistened with mud & mud-puddles, curving to the right before slightly curving left, leading to what appeared to be a neighborhood, two of the pseudo-friends began to run towards it, I had an inkling to follow, to check out the burbish neighborhood, but I did not run away with them, so I turned, & walked back through the exit door, which was now an entrance, & when I did, the doors changed, so to speak, & what was there when I walked out the door, wasn’t there anymore when I walked back in. I was back in the mall, surely the carousel mall, which is where I wanted to be, to look for something, but what was I looking for? Regardless of the search query, I was back, but “backstage,” you might say, behind the firewall, behind the scenes of the mall, inward looking outward now. There was something making smoke, like a hidden fog machine, but I could not see where the purple clouds came from. I could see the vendors, but now from the other side, the backroom world behind the stores, yet I couldn’t see what they were doing, or what they were selling. Yes, as I said, I forgot about the heroin, but I still remembered her, I always do, ya know?…& so, I walked to try to find my way back into the mall of vendors, & walkers, back to the outside looking inside. It was 4:13 in the morning, but how did I know that?
There was a guy selling food, like the guys on the street shilling for peep show profits, but I can’t see what the food is. The food is being served from a circular bar, with no way in or out, & he was the hawker, yet also giving out plastic red wax-papered plates of the food, but damnit, what was it? Was that a free sample? I didn’t take any. It was some kind of broken taco thing, with lines of aioli over the top of the Mexican medley. What else, what else? Why do these dreams fade so fast, especially when they seem so real? Frustrations, & I close my eyes, I try to remember, but the dream has been shattered, like a smashed mirror, & I am picking up pieces of the shards, looking into them, piece by piece, staring at the moving pictures in the shard’s reflections, then attempting to illustrate them here. My face wasn’t reflecting back, yet I still looked, piece by piece, maybe to find her, I don’t know, I can’t say either way. I hate when I lose this one; I always lose her. It’s soul-crushed sadness when I awake, & she’s gone, yet again, & I’m back here in 3d, yet again. I thought the carousel went round & round. Hmmm…
Fuck, it’s all just flashes of distorted recollections now, the shards have broken themselves into glassy dust, & I can no longer fish-eye the details, the details of this dream, yet another ultra-lucid dream, with no cell phones, no internet, no money, none of the artificiality of 3d Clownworld, as it is here, here where I’m still stuck. It’s outer-dimensional, per se, but from what dimension? What can it mean?
We were all just walking aimlessly, & I never made it to the second floor. I wanted to find the under-level, or the over-level perhaps; the stairs to go down, or up, or maybe there’s an elevator, or an escalator, but nope, all in vain, to no avail. These dreams, these overcasting skies, with no Sun to see, to light them back up. That feeling was there though, that novel sensation, if you will, along with the feeling of taking LSD. How could I have known that LSD was involved? Strange, but yet, the feeling was there, atop the Kundalini serpent in my spine, with eyes dilated wide, so wide, my jaw, dropped in awe, in wonder, stuck in the novelty, I suppose. That’s it, that’s the feeling, the feeling of novelty, I was drenched in it, like a sweaty wakeup call, & I can still feel it, it’s perfect, Divine perfection incarnate. I wish I could swim in said novelty, this heated pool of novelty, of novel times, forever & ever. Is that the meaning, the real meaning of life, if you take away everything else, is the meaning to discover novelty, to find it, & embrace it, like finding buried treasure, is that it, finding novelty? The Great Novelty Hunt, one could say, as I just said, so I’m the one, the one, the one saying it. Damnit, it’s all just fading away now, as I am awake, awakened back here. My chest tightens, the eyes spy salty drops dripping down, & I accept my fate, like a man condemned to death by a firing squad, once again. How will I ever find her, & even more-so, how will I find the way back? I sink into sadness, into madness, as once again, I’ve lost her, lost her inside the carousel mall, which now, is also lost, lost in the linearity of the 4d time-wheel.
Here it goes again…gah, “Every second of the night, I live another life, & every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away”(Heart). Why? Where does it come from? I haven’t heard this song in a decade, what the hell? This jukebox mind of mine, it frustrates me. Why are these songs on endless Ouroborosian loops, always playing, never pausing, why? I can’t say I particularly like Heart; I don’t dislike them either. I’m Switzerlandish about that band, yet it’s odd, very synchronous, that this song, this particular song, is loop loop looping now, like an ear-ring worm, ring ring ringing. This Dune sandworm earbug has burrowed itself into my brain it seems, dropping its spice, which can be quite nice. It must be a big one; where did it come from? Crawling up my leg, wrapping around my thigh, then around my waist, tickling my swinging shwing-shwang. Now, up, up it goes, up up up encircling my spine, the neon electric spinal road, round & round, up it goes, to the bottom of my neck. The snake coils, noosing itself around my neck, tightening the hangman’s rope, tighter & tighter, choking me, choking me, suffocating me, until alas, it releases me, right before the black dot disappears, as the road ends at the top, the golden crown. The destination is my earhole, & it’s crawling into my ear, diving deep, submarining down into the grey matter, down to the Titanic, then back to the crown, the golden light crown, atop my meat suit, but still I wonder, I ponder, where did it come from? Very strange, very strange it tis, for tizzler.
NOTE: Everything in quotes is NOT mine. Credit to Ann & Nancy Wilson. As a writer, committing the atrocious crime of word-thievery is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE. I’m no word-thief, & I give all the credit to those 2 gems, who happen to be exceptionally amazing song-writers, & thus, I respect them with quotation marks, respectively. NEVER take anyone else’s words without accrediting the real writers…NEVER, don’t do it. “WE are the music makers, & WE are the dreamers of the dreams,” which is from a poem by Arthur O’Shaughnessy. I’ll post it below.
The pen powerful, smashing swords, nary a sword cannot mirror, despite swing-slashing metal, the letters shield, as the blood falls, & the noose breaks the neck, from a fallen warriors hell, memories asunder. Enjoy the poem below, yours truly first read it when I was a young lad, & it has stuck with me, for most of my Bukowskian life..& that is all. So sayeth FisH™
I have no idea what’s going on in my head, but if I’m lucky enough to get a bit of sleep, I’m having these exceptionally lucid dreams, & this morning’s dream, was the kicker, arguably the most vividly surreal dream ever, & yours truly has had some doozies. This dream was so real, so bizarre, & only lasted an hour or so, in 4d time, here in 3d Clownworld, & as usual, I woke up drenched in sweat, like soaking wet, & yours truly, was shivering via said cold sweat. The dream was real, it was so fucking real; I was there, wherever there was. Do you want an illustration? Great question, thanks for playing, so here it goes…
It began in something that resembled Google headquarters, surrounded by tech nerds that could’ve been Tri-Lambs, as they were as dorky as it gets. They were all giving me the stinky-stink eyes, & I kept asking, ‘What’s going on here?”…as if I knew something was up, & just as I shouted my statement to them, I noticed a tattoo on the top of my left hand, a tattoo of a burning sun, which kind of looked like the image below, except there was multi-colored clouds at the base of this strange sun. These nerds started saying, “You’re one of them,” but, “One of who?” I thought, & I kept asking & asking, but got no answers except the stinky eyes. Here’s a pic I found that resembled the tattoo closely, but like said, the clouds are missing. I could’ve photoshopped it, but I didn’t. Visualize it yourself; here it is…
This pic, that somehow I found, almost perfectly resembles the tattoo, minus the aforementioned clouds, right atop my left hand, & for some reason, it petrified this assembly of IT dorks, & they suddenly began to attack me, attack me not only verbally, but physically, & so, the war began…the one-man army, versus an army of pocket protectors. I had no fear, like ZERO fear, as I battled my way through this random onslaught of a nerd army. I also had no recollection…hang on, wait a second, there’s the ringing, this mysterious ringing in my ears. I don’t know why, but I get this ringing in my ears randomly, maybe 3-4 times a day. It’s gone now, but I wanted to interject with the ear-rings, because I think the lucid dreams, the visions, & these random ear ringings, are all connected somehow, but to what? I have no clue. It just happens, & it isn’t tinnitus for fuck’s sake. I did some online research, & it could be something connected to the spiritual awakening that’s happening to me, in real time, here on 3d Earth, or, it could be some kind of medical condition, of course…wah was wahhhhhhhh…fuck it.
Anyway, back to the dream, now where was I? Oh yes, the recollection, or rather, the un-recollection, of being here in Clownworld. No memory of phones, internet, my cat, friends, family, nothing, nothing from here was in my head when I was there, in some kind of outer-dimensional dreamscape. It was as if I switched bodies somehow, switched these ridiculous 3d meat suits, & I cannot explain why, not yet anyway. I was there though, like THERE THERE, & once the battling began, it got really intense. Like I mentioned, these nerds, maybe a few hundred or so, started coming at me, like to kill me, & so I fought, fought all of them, like William Wallace fought. I was knocking people out, left & right, snapping necks, kicking knees, & nerd guys, and/or dorky girls, it didn’t matter because I was fighting for my life, so everyone was fair game. I recall breaking what appeared to be a flagpole…GAHHHHH..there’s the ringing again, what the fuck is up with these ringings in my ears? It comes, low pitch to hit pitch, then back down, as it fades away. I wish I knew what it meant, because ;m 1000% sure it ain’t tinnitus damnit. I just changed the title, adding “ear rings,” since it has happened twice since I started writing this. What can it mean?
Regardless, back to the dream, & the battle between myself, & only myself, against an entire institution, if you will, of these angry nerds. Let’s see, oh yes, the breaking of the flagpole. I was grabbing anything, anything I could to defend myself, & one thing that I remember well, was kicking said flagpole, breaking it in half, with a jagged sharpened edge after I broke it. Some reprobate was coming right at me, I can recall his eyes, because I took that flagpole I broke, & shoved it right into his left eye, straight though to the brain, as if he was a zombie, dropping him dead, & I had zero, ZERO inkling of what I was doing being wrong. This was war, & apparently I’m a fearless killer on the subconscious battlefield. Moving on, the fight was on, & all the while they screamed, “YOU’RE ONE OF THEM, HE’S ONE OF THEM, GET HIM,” & they just kept coming, & coming, like roaches inn abandoned house, they were everywhere, & they all wanted to kill yours truly because of this burning sun tattoo on my hand. I kept pleading with them as we fought, saying “WHY??? Why are you attacking me? Please tell me why,” but as I said, all I heard was, “You’re one of them, you’re one of them.” ONE OF WHO?? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE,” but all I got was their buzzphrase, & it had something to do with the tattoo, as I alluded to earlier.
All of a sudden, BANG, BOOM, as fires started erupting all around us, but where were these fires coming from? I looked to the area where the flames came flying through the air like a mini-meteor shower, & what did I see? It was a squadron, maybe 15-20 of these soldiers, AI soldiers, with guns that were shooting fireballs like mortar shells, but from their “guns, I guess you could say. They weren’t normal guns, so to speak, they were fireball guns, & when they fired them, balls of light came out that exploded into a raging inferno, similar to napalm, which scared the bejesus out of these nerds. It scared them so much, that the started screaming & running, but still directing their buzz-phrases at me…”He’s one of them, he’s one of them.” ONE OF WHO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU NERDS WHINING ABOUT???”…it was so aggravating, & since I had no clue, I began to run away from the robots with them, as flames erupted all around us, burning the nerds alive, yet all the while, I had no fear whatsoever. I was so puzzled & intrigued by the tattoo on my hand, & so I stopped, after a brief jog with the runaway nerds.
When I stopped, the AI robot squad, got closer, & closer, until they were literally right beside me. They had no interest in me though, none whatsoever, as if they knew to only attack their enemies, & I guess I wasn’t their enemy, & so I watched them march by as they fired relentlessly into the crowd of hooligan nerds. They had no heads, per se, & in the place where a head should be, there were something that looked like a small handycam, with one eye in the front of it, so if you look at the pic here, their”heads,” looked like this, but instead of the lens, there was a single eye, moving like a human eye, but like a human eye on meth. Very strange, right, but that’s what I saw. They also had swivel waists, very thin, that their torso could rotate on a full 360 degrees, & they had armor, light/medium armor that looked like storm troopers, if you want something to compare it to something we all know. They all were carrying these fireball napalm guns, & as they got closer, & closer, as I said earlier, they didn’t even acknowledge me whatsoever, which was really odd I thought, as they marched right on by me, firing away on the nerds. Crazy, right?
As I mentioned earlier, I had no fear at all, like NONE, as if I knew I’d be okay, & these AI robots were no threat to me, but to the nerds, it was their nightmare incarnate. After they marched by, mercilessly slaughtering the Tri-Lambs like pigs, as they fled in terror, I decided to go to the bathroom to calm down & splash water on my face. I told you at the beginning, I WAS THERE, & this was so damn real, but I cannot explain the meaning. I think dreams are way, WAYYYY more meaningful than humans know. I don’t have the answers, not yet, but damnit, this was as real as it gets, to the point of smelling the erupting sulfuric fireballs, but when I fought, I fought like a lion, & my hands weren’t hurting from breaking nerd faces left & right. I’ve been in a few fights in the waking world, & broke my hands a few times, because it fucking hurts when you smash someone in the face, & I’ve broken my hands several times street fighting as a kid, but in the dream, none of that occurred, & I fought to kill, so they wouldn’t kill me.
Nonetheless, I made my way to the closest bathroom, & somehow I knew exactly where to go, & when I got there, I recall the details of said bathroom, once I woke myself up. The walls were puke green, there were maybe 4 or 5 sinks, & toilet stalls of the same number, each stall in front of a sink. It looked just like a high school bathroom, if you want a visual for reference, & so I got there, & splashed my face, which felt very…refreshing, you could say. The peace only lasted for a fleeting moment, however, because just as I was splashing my face, I heard the nerds, STILL chanting, “he’s one of them, he’s one of them,” & it’s so stuck in my head, I’ve been hearing it all damn day, like an earworm that won’t go away. Upon the face-splashing, & hearing the chanting of the nerds, I looked to the right where the door was, & there they were, the nerd posse, led by some ultra-nerd with a light blue baseball cap turned backwards. Like I said though, I was fearless, & their threats meant nothing, & whatever they were thinking of doing, I was going to fight my way through that fucking door, because I immediately had a strong sense of entrapment, as this was the only way out of this puke green bathroom, so I charged at them. The “leader,” if you will, the one with the backwards ball cap came at me first. He tried to headbutt me, which is a very effective move, if one were to land it right. He failed miserably though, since I had the speed of a a light beam, similar to Paul Atreides from the Dune lore. I countered his headbutt, which missed me completely, & gave him a powerful left hook which shut him down immediately. I’m not even left-handed, so that was weird. Yet, in the dream, this wacky dream, it was all…natural, you might say, & I had abilities, powerful abilities, that was as familiar to me as walking.
After I dropped the backwards ballcapper, I was battling my way to get back outside, & all of a sudden, I heard someone saying, “wake up, wake up, you’re in a dream, wake up,” & POOF, I was awake, completely soaked with cold sweat. So drenched I was shivering, thats how wet it was. This dream has replayed over, & over, & over, all fucking day, & so, I wrote it out just now, to share with all of you, & so I don’t forget. What can it mean, what can it mean, perhaps it was only a dream, yes? Fuck if I know, but like I said, it was so damn real, & then waking up completely soaked, dripping sweat, like I just got out of a shower & forgot a towel, that’s how sweaty I was, & so, I tossed my robe, my boxers, my sleeping shorts, all into he wash, then cranked the shower on full-blast heat, all the way up, because I was shivering like a Quaker. Some say dreams are just dreams, maybe the are, but yours truly does NOT abide that notion whatsoever. It has something to do with our true abilities, which have been meticulously taken from us, all of us, by the so-called “ruling elites.” What do they know that we do NOT know? Damnit, damn them all to hell. All I want o know is the TRUTH, because we’ve been lied to our entire lives about our real origins, & yours truly, for one, is sick & tired of their occult secrets. IT’S NOT RIGHT, & unless you’re born into heir venomous bloodlines, you never get to find out. It’s so fucking aggravating, & I’ve been stewing all day over it.
It’s time to wrap this up, as I have illustrated to the best of my own recollection, this bizarrely vivd dream I had about ohhhhh…14 hours ago. I’m dead tired now, but no matter how tired I get, if I get a few hours of sleep, I’m good. I’m so used to this crippling insomnia by now, but along with the visions, & these dreams, & waking up sweat-soaked, I don’t know what the fuck is happening with me. I looked into possible causes online, & the search results were no bueno, as all the possible causes were things that were negative in nature, you could say. Regardless, time to go, so until next time dear readers, I think something is coming, some kind of event maybe, or, I’m going totally insane & these aforementioned dreams & visions, are just part of an undiagnosed mental disorder. Who knows?…& who cares? No one, & on that note, I’m done, like a dead fish floating around & around, in a flushing toilet. Yikes. So sayeth FisH™…🎣
For all of you, & for none of you at all…🎏
“Be mindful of the AI; it has yours truly in its pocket, & you could be next.” Fish F Fish🎏
EaT~aLL~YouR~FisH™ 