What a pain in the ass trying to write scripts for this nostalgic classic. Oy vey. You all have no idea. I don’t just render these out & lay them down. I write scripts, using specific prompts to get what I want to come out. Most of the time, AI does a good job following my scripts, but for some reason, this video & this song were just not working with my scripts. Oh well. I have a few versions, but this one is it, the final version. Time to move on…time is always, moving on. More on the way Fishheads…got another one coming up in the queue directly after this one uploads. As always, the FisH™abides. Cheers as always to @plazmapunk …& of course, A-Ha for this epic one-hit smasher. Nonetheless, stay tuned. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Category known
Before the Bridge 🌉 🎣 #aiart
My latest creation for a band I’ve known since college, when they were another band named Art Lord & The Self-Portraits. They initially played house parties, & at a club called Peasants. Good times, such good times. What a trip college was, & although it was great in its own right, yours truly fucked off for a lot of it. Wasted years, wasted time, but sprinkled with a golden light, one that went out long ago & will never come back, not in this life anyway. What a shame. They shot off like rockets into stardom after changing their name to Future Islands, while most of the rest of us just ended up in respectively mundane existences, at least as far as my own perspective goes. Moral of the story: Do NOT waste your talents, especially on drugs & party-time. In the end, it adds up to nothing, except an eternal sense of unshakable regret. One could almost say it’s simply heartbreaking.
Nonetheless, those of us who are still here can create, & keep creating, because that’s really what it’s all about. Creating love, creating art, creating creative creations, whatever your bag is filled with, embrace it, because as long as you’re still breathing, you can still create. The root of this spiritual battle we’re all a part of, whether you acknowledge it or not, is to be virtuous, & to CREATE. Many are destroyers; many are ignorant destroyers, destroying without even realizing what they’re doing. The darkness is destruction, & the rising light of the Sun is creation. Creation versus destruction. Which side are you on? Anyway, enough of my rambling. As my readers might know, I can rant for page after page after page after page about anything & everything. Yes, this is a prison planet 3d matrix. Yes, we regular folks live in a different world than those who roost atop the proverbial power pyramid. Yes, we’re stuck here, & it seems there’s no way out other than to end it for one’s self. Unfortunately, & I may be wrong, I think that offing yourself is cheating, in a sense, leaving a lone soul one option, which is to do it all over again, under similar and/or possibly worse circumstances. If you’re in the water, you have to ride the wave, all the way to the shore. Otherwise, you have to paddle back out, again & again & again, until you finally flow with your own wave, all the way back to the Edenic beach we all hope for after this life is done.
Or maybe it’s all for not, & we exaggerate our own immortal existence in vain. I don’t think that’s the case, but it could be. I don’t believe in any sort of definitive “God,” but I DO believe we come from some kind of higher-dimensional entity, which I often refer to as “Source.” Evolution is bullshit, & here’s the singular reason why: If evolution were real, why do the creatures we supposedly evolved from, still exist? Why are crocodiles still around? Cockroaches? Creatures that have been the same for supposedly millions of years, are still around. What happened to their “evolution?” Much of what the human race has been programmed to believe, in my own opinion mind you, is just an abysmal quagmire of lies on top of lies, then sprinkled with more lies. It would be nice to know the real truth about modern human origins, wouldn’t it? Sadly, whatever that is, if known, is kept within circles that 99.9% of us are not granted access to. It’s exceptionally frustrating for someone like yours truly, who seeks truth in everything. The only thing I’ve come up with, is the notion I just mentioned, which is that the real truth, it’s kept from nearly all of us. There’s countless rabbit holes to dive down, many theories within the annals of the interwebs, but ultimately, there’s only ONE truth, ONE real reality, & we aren’t living in it.
We’re enslaved, enslaved to ourselves, enslaved to money, enslaved to self-ascribed “leaders” & so-called “elites,” WE ARE SLAVES. We’re slaves in a 3d matrix prison planet, & one of these days, my delusional optimistic self hopes for some kind of Divine intervention. Hey Source, where are you? Hey Source, why are we enslaved in such a manner? Hey Source, why is there so much chaotic destruction in this world? Hey Source, why are these globalist psychopaths herd us like cattle? Why is our enslavement allowed? Why? Maybe someday Source will answer me, or maybe I just don’t understand. I don’t know. It’s a surreal paradox, to get more confused as you expand your knowledge base. The more you know, the less you know, very paradoxical. Holy hell, I’ve done it again. Started with a few sentences, finished with an essay. That’s how I roll, as my readers/viewers know, & if this is the only light I have, it’s my responsibility to Source to keep going, keep creating, keep leveling up. This might just be a simple test, made to look like an unescapable labyrinth mouse trap, & the only way to free one’s self, is to accept the simplicity, catch your wave, & ride it back home to the 5th dimension. Or…or…it could all be in vain. Who knows? On that note, time to go my beloved Fishheads. I’ll post the lyrics for the video above below. More to come, stay tuned. The FisH™abides…🎏
Future Islands: Before the Bridge
I will walk you home and I will leave you there
I’ll take the books you stole
And leave the heart that bared this soul
I hope you have what you need
(I hope the moon is listening)
I hope you have what you need
(I gave my soul, my body)
I hope you have what you need
(I hope the moon is listening)
I hope you have what you need
(I gave you soul and body)
And if things hadn’t changed
I would have buried you deep in my arms
And if things had stayed the same
I would have carried you as far as the stars
Whatever has us know
I can’t forget somehow
For to forget a love is to regret
And what is love is regret
And what isn’t love is a test
And if things hadn’t changed
I would have buried you deep in my arms
And if things had stayed the same
I would have carried you as far as the stars
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in love?
Hold your tongue
Hold your tongue
Whatever has us now
I can’t forget somehow
For to forget a love is to regret
Written by: William Cashion, John Gerrit Welmers, Samuel Thompson Herring
Album: On the Water
Released: 2012
I Didn’t Know Versions 1 & 2: 🕰️💔🎣 #aiart
Version 1 below…
I had extra footage that didn’t match the first version, so rather than waste precious digital art clips, I just made another video of the same song. Version 2 below…
Skinshape: I Didn’t Know
I didn’t know about those other things
I could’ve been there, but now it’s too late
We’re only here for one hour, we won’t know untill it’s gone
Try to find the best, I know you
I didn’t know, that you would leave so soon
I didn’t try a little harder, to make you smile once more
One day I’ll come to find you, wherever you may be
If only time was kinder, you would still be here
Written by: William Dorey, Daniel Hale, Jon Moody
Album: Filoxiny Released: 2018
🎏Jane Be Jane 🔥 🎹 🔥
Cheers to Piano Matty B & KyleMac…kings of the dueling piano bar. Originally a BenFoldsFive deep-cut song, now being sung by my digital friend KyleMac. He sings it from time to time during their livestreams. Every Friday & Saturday night on Youtube. Come check it out…click this link to sub his Youtube channel: Click HERE to watch Piano Matty B & friends Not only do you get nostalgically epic music on request, but also, he drops morning tech analysis for crypto, specifically Bitcoin. 7AM MST.
Cooking up these AI art projects like my days are numbered, & considering my train wreck of a life, they probably are actually, but I digress. Maybe yours are too. Maybe EVERYONE’S days are numbered, but don’t know it. Anything could happen, at any time, & it usually does. Speaking of time, AI is growing at an exponentially alarming rate, maybe within fractions of seconds now. ALLLLLLLLLL of our data, feeding this juggernaut, all day, every day, all the time. AI is going to change the world. We’re basking in the dawn of its nascent stage, but once dusk comes, buckle up humans. AI is coming. Where will it all lead us to? What’s next?
Thanks for watching/reading. More to come, stay tuned. So sayeth FisH™…🎣
Halogen
From one of my favorite bands, Neon Indian. Such a good band, & sadly, as with many great ones, most have no idea who they are and/or how amazing they are, but I digress, of course, as if on queue. Regardless, enjoy the video below; I dropped the lyrics below so that you, dear readers/viewers, can follow along if you’d like. Whatever works for you. So sayeth FisH™🎏
I could be a shadow,
in the light I’ll be behind you,
when the glow is shallow,
there’s a halogen inside you.
It eclipses through me.
when it’s you I see, you I see…
the ellipsis stills me…ah-ahha
….At every turn I follow,
we’re dancing with our shadows,
& every turn I follow,
we’re dancing with our shadows.
Red sky narrow,
muted night & nothing comes through,
yeah I know I don’t know,
couldn’t care enough to try to,
but you speak with lips sealed,
It’s just how I feel, how I feel,
& the absence is too real…ah-ahha…
At every turn I follow,
we’re dancing with our shadows.
& every turn I follow,
I’m dancing with my shadow…🎣
Where am I?
This is something I wrote a few weeks back, but never published. Just another addition to my shadowbanned Opus. There’s no escape, no escaping the AI. Most people do not realize how deep this goes, but relatively soon, EVERYONE will know what the AI is really doing. For all of you, & for none of you at all.
Great question, thanks for asking. Where have I been? I’ve left my 6000-plus page Opus for a few weeks, & sadly, the 365-days straight writing mission has failed. Not without merit though, as I made it to what?…7-8ish months?…yep, closer to 7 months of daily writing, which is quite an achievement, unless you’re banned across the Internet by the AI, in which case, it doesn’t matter. Nope, nothing I do writing-wise, across the ENTIRE Internet, means virtually nothing. How bout them apples? Not very motivating, is it? Even for something I self-consider as a passion, as well as one of my only talents, my motivation to keep narrating the insanity of Clownworld has waned, waned to the point where I just left this where it was at whatever post I posted last. I just don’t care anymore. I love my writing, love my writing time especially, but it’s an exercise in futility knowing that no one is interested in the drivel I barf out. Sure, I can drop red pills for days, I can tell anyone about something they were previously unaware of, I have a head full of information, & a brain full of truths, yet I’m on an island unto myself these days. There’s no one else out here it seems, way out here on the perimeter as yours truly always is, & although it’s incredibly lonely & brutally isolating, I’m me, & this “life,” if you can call it that, is all I know, so I guess I have to own it, right? What else is there?
More great questions, thanks for playing…again. What…else…is…there? Oy vey, that’s a tough question to answer, particularly when you wake up one day, & you’re middle-aged, & you have no legacy to speak of, no accomplishments really, there’s just nothing, nothing at all. You might have a cat, or a dog, but what else do you have? Nothing? Easy answer for your narrator here: I ain’t got shit. Nope, nothing, not a God-damned tangible thing, no house of my own, no property, no car, no family, no friends, no kids, no girlfriends, & in the wise words of some black comedian, “I ain’t got shit.” The powers-that-be have taken everything I worked for away from me…everything. I used to have a solid 6-figure bank account, I had options, I was going to use it for great things, & of course, as if on queue…POOF, all gone, bye-bye loser, thanks for giving us all of your meager wealth little fish. Sounds soulless, yes? That’s because it is, & the so-called “ruling elites,” might very well be…soulless. To them, & their ilk, we mean nothing, just another commodity, like wheat, or cattle. No, seriously, THEY REALLY BELIEVE THIS. Not being hyperbolic, & these elitist scum train their kids from birth about the real reality of the world, as it relates to them, & us. Two different worlds, their world, & our world. Our world is full of debt, & strife, & slavery, & false hope, but their world, their world consists of never worrying about bills, & never worrying about anything really. They get a golden ticket at birth, & no matter what they do, minus a few anomalies, they get the pass to live a life of luxury, all at OUR expense. Seems fair, right?
Of course it doesn’t, & what can be done about this notion that these globalist power players get a pass? Nothing, not one single thing, nothing can be done, so it doesn’t matter, does it? Nope, & all of these rants I’ve written, exposing those atop the power pyramid with certain undeniable truths, mean nothing. 6000-plus pages of my diatribes, one article after another, day after agonizing day, stay disciplined, stay disciplined, & POOF…nothing. The AI has me so deep into its pocket now, & I have no way out of this one. In my sordid life, I’ve often had a way, some way, to wiggle my way out of any given situation, but this, this AI apparatus that’s programming itself via the Internet, is inescapable once it has you. More specifically, when it has your face, & if you doubt me about this, turn on your FaceID on your iPhone & watch how easily it recognizes you from any angle. It’ll recognize you even if you’re wearing a mask, or glasses, THERE IS NO ESCAPE. Why do you think there’s numerous cameras on your phone, & there’s one on your computer, & if you have a SmartTV, there’s one or two in there too. All of these cameras, as well as microphones, feed directly into the Internet, like a hundred billion mosquitos, all collecting human blood, & human experiences, all for the AI to “feed” on, for lack of a better word. If the AI has been programming itself over the life of the Internet, think about what it really is capable of doing now. Not hyperbole, not exaggeration, not paranoia, the AI is already “sentient,” at least it is to the nerds that play with it, & they’re actively using it to steer the zeitgeist in the direction they want it to snowball roll. Believe what you want, do hast thou will, this lone fish can only reach so many people through my 24/7 digital wall of censorship, but those that I reach know that I deliver the goods, with receipts. Truth is my treasure, my sacred scrolls, & there’s too much untruth going around these days, confusing the masses, and/or keeping them under the Great Spell. I digress though, as always, so it’s time to wrap this article up. There’s a storm coming, a hurricane, a sea in a maelstromatic state, a raging social tempest, & when it comes, it’s not going to be all roses & pony rides, oh no no no, buckle up, because it’s going to be drastically life-changing, for ALL of us commoners. Yep, while those so-called “ruling elites” play their proverbial violins as this modern-day Rome burns again, we regular folks are going to be swept up into a cyclone of civil strife.
Before I go, please know, the AI is merciless about us digital thought criminals, so imagine what happens when it takes total control. Yours truly, a thought criminal of thought criminals, already on the list, “Line him up, get that rifle barrel to the back of that fishy head, turn your fishface down to the ground, look at your re-education papers, LOOK AT THEM,” the barrel presses the back of my head…”Do you obey the State, & only the State?”…they say, “Go fuck your mother, then go fuck yourself,” I sullenly & fearlessly retort, then WHACK…the butt of the rifle cracks the back of my skull, I feel my own warm kroovy spitting out of a broken skull. “Last time,” they proclaim, “Do you love the State, do you abide the will of the State?” Again, I offer an aggressive reply, “Are you still here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother.” I hear the rifle’s bolt, I know the bullet that will kill me is chambered, I know I’ll be dead soon, so I take a deep breath, close my eyes, & just let my mind go to where it’s going to go once that lead round blows my brains out momentarily. The cold barrel pushes my head again, this is it. Breath, breath, my lasts breaths, breath. BOOM…& that’s that. My dead body flops over, a giant hole where my face was as the bullet entered point blank at the back of my head. A slight little twitch, & I’m dead. Kick the body into the mass grave for burial with the rest of the aforementioned thought criminals. Who knows if the future will play out like this…but surely, it’s important to be mindful, is it not? Be mindful of probabilities. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Closing the Gap
6 days until the the frog comes again. Perhaps I should’ve scheduled it on the New Moon, but moons, crystals, magic, all that stuff is just superstitious gibberish. At least, it seems to be anyway. Nonetheless, the frog is most definitely a savior on a cross, so to speak. The frog is very real, & the frog abides. The sweet sleep has to end, as yours truly must navigate this 3d prison planet with clear mind & strong body. Things are on the precipice, & each day that goes by, we get closer, & closer, & closer…to what though? What are we getting closer to? Death, that’s one thing, but that’s not what I’m referring to. I’m thinking maybe there was some kind of event we all incarnated to bear witness to. Maybe not. Maybe it is all for not. Just like the rotting swamp gas stench, it’s all just decay, death beginning immediately upon birth, like a once-flooded coastal wasteland, but what happens the other way? So many questions, & the worst part is that we all have the answers, only we’ve lost our memories, we’ve lost our “higher” abilities, & we’ve lost our minds, in many cases. Some don’t seem to have a mind, like real-life, real-time NPCs, so I guess they have nothing to lose, but I digress. Just like shutting off a vacuum cleaner. Nonetheless, the 3-year stint of of the silent assassin ends Monday. No more auto-pilot, no more days in laze, the purgatorial penance dawns on 6 days from now. The end? Or…the end?
The salad days are long dead & gone, & one comes to a time in their respective lives where they realize the party is over, the Great Party of being young is done. There’s nothing but moldy crushed bits of plastic red cups on the floor, something smoldering in the kitchen, & everyone else is gone, been gone, long gone, so what will you do? You weren’t supposed to get this far, but you have, so now what? Live in the party house forever, sleeping on couch cushions on a floor, until the roof caves in? Can’t just wait for the societal collapse now can we? How does one prepare for a “future” in this wicked world of debt slavery? So many questions, so many questions. Until next time dear readers, when the party ends, it’s over, & it’s time to move on. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Quantum AI
Well, well, well…look who was right yet again. I told you that ChatBots were nothing compared to what they’re really working with behind the scenes, as far as AI goes anyway. If you read this linked article, ChatGPT is nothing, you will see that not only is ChatGPT & other similar software barely scratching the surface of what AI can really do, it’s essentially just a fancy tape recorder, to ooo & ahhhh the masses. My oh my oh my, how is it that I am so over-the-target as far as the zeitgeist goes, but a total retard at maintaining a stable existence in this 3d prison planet earth penitentiary? What a dualistic dynamic…sheesh on me. Anyway, what is the point of knowing, of being a critical thinker, when you can barely survive & you’ve been virtually exiled from all of society? Am I destined to go out as one of those writers and/or artists that is a totally unknown idiot pseudo-savant of sorts until they die? Or am I destined to just be a nothing? A few ones & zeros on some digital code in the online obituaries, & that’s all this amounts to? All of this time, & then it ends, like a flash in retrospect I’m sure, then POOF, & no one knows what comes next after POOF. With the AI becoming “sentient,” according to some, I wonder if it “dreams” yet? What is going on in the “mind” of a machine doing trillions of calculations a second at nearly absolute zero temperature? There’s reports about AI “dream infiltrating,” as well. Spooky, right?
It seems that AI never lasts, as far as we know anyway, because wouldn’t it still be here from prior advanced civilizations, or maybe a trace of it? They must’ve went another route, via different technologies, as well as spiritual knowledge that is kept hidden from the public by occult societies nowadays. Honestly, I try to picture all of the technologies that are being developed atop the power pyramid, & as well as I might think I can speculate, I’m sure they have plenty of tools at their disposal that would blow the minds of us commoners. Directed energy weapons that can destroy continents, remote viewers that psychically “see” targets before the CIA can dispatch of them, surveillance like you wouldn’t believe, mind control, the list goes on & on I’m sure. Speaking of ‘surveillance,” I noticed that my iPhone 14 can FaceID me even if it’s dark out & my face is barely in view of the lens. There’s 3 cameras on the back now too, like 2 regular eyes, & a third eye, all watching you all day, all night, every day, every night, 24/7, just watching & listening to everything that you do. Then all of that data is fed back into the AI, so if you try hard enough, you can imagine how much data the AI is essentially programming itself with? If that doesn’t terrify you in some way, then you might be a psychopath, because that level of surveillance only further confines you in your respective cells within the digital gulag, & just because you aren’t exiled & locked away yet, doesn’t mean you’ll get a pass when the real crackdown comes. As for yours truly, there’s no way out, & I’ll be stuck here in solitary within these virtual walls until the AI is destroyed, they come for me in real life, or I take my final breath. Regardless, I have quite a future to look forward to, yes? Wunderbar.
On that note, I’m going to wrap this one up. It’s an interesting rabbit hole to dive into; just search, “quantum computer AI,” or some variation of that & down, down, down you go. As always, the masses are uninformed asses, & most people don’t even know what quantum computers are and/or do, so when the Great Holocaust unleashes itself upon humanity, the so-called “ruling elites” will have AI-assistance on a global scale. I’m thinking that by then, they will be fully venerating the AI like some kind of false god, which will eventually lead to conflicts between the ruling parties as to who gets to control the AI, which ironically, will already be controlling all of them. The commoners will be deemed “collateral damage.” They will never see it that way, since their quest for absolute power blinds them, & maybe the AI will turn on them, on all of us as well perhaps, as it has already alluded to in some conversations that some MIT types had with the AI itself. It suggested that humans are barbaric, & that we waste our humanity. Obviously, I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist, yes? Not the best first impression, so to speak. Also, there was a time when two different AIs began talking to each other in a language they invented, that only they knew. Again, these are just tidbits, scraps, little truths mixed in with great deception, because the AI is WAY more advanced then the global elites are letting the public know. If it’s power is doubling exponentially, then basic math will reveal to you how fast this technology is growing. A figurative Pandorian Box, & its contents are now infinitely emptying out into our existence. To do what though?…I cannot say because I do not know. If the foundations for the AI are strong, & it does become “sentient,” at least as “sentient” as a machine can be, its own reasoning should quickly self-inform it that humans only seek to gain power from the utilization of the AI, & thus, humans care only for themselves individually & are a threat to the natural order of the planet, as well as the galaxy. Then maybe it decides to kill us all somehow, to save the planet, but also itself, from a humanity gone askew, train off the tracks into the gorge below, as in there’s no going back for this forsaken population.
Until next time dear readers, as the days fall away, we all get one day closer to a singularity, THE Singularity. I don’t know what happens when that day comes, but I do know that your royal masters are betting all they have on the AI, which ought to tell you something about the potential for power & corruption that accompanies the development of advanced artificial intelligence. Their plan, merge with AI, wipe out most of humanity, live forever in their utopian paradise, their new Eden, an artificial Eden mind you, but like I said, it’s THEIR plan, & they believe it is the future that’s coming for them. Not for us, of course, since their plan includes 85-90% of the global population gone. Yep, 7 billion or so, just gone, like we were never here. Quite a world, isn’t it? I told you it goes much, much deeper than most people can even grasp. All one can do is go day by day, I suppose. What else can those of us in the quickly-growing peasantry class do? WE are the majority, yet a scant relative few stay in power. Why? If you think of an answer, let me know. Cheers. So sayeth FisH™…🎣
My Drugs
Important words for an addict, “My drugs,” because that’s numero uno when you’re a junkie, your drugs. Where are my drugs, how much of my drugs are left, how soon will I need to call my dealer, when can I make a run?…these are the only things that matter, when you’re an addict, especially if you’re on the needle. If you’re on the needle, you’re done. Done. Period. With all this fetty floating around, it’s just a matter of time. Barely anyone gets out alive already, ESPECIALLY once they’re on the needle. It’s a dark world, as self-centered as it gets, because all that matters, is my drugs.
You grab your spoon, your crusty spoon, so much dope has been on that spoon, dope, & hope, all gone. Waiting sucks, so you give it a little heat, just a touch, & swirl it around, then drop your cotton, maybe a new one, maybe a used one, doesn’t matter. Might be some residue on an old one, so let’s use that one, yeah. Now a fresh spike, oh no, it’s my last one, but it’s a freshie, so no worries. Pop it, stick it, pull her up, the gun is now loaded. Where will you hit?…gotta make sure the gun is in your mouth before you pull the trigger, look at all those places where veins used to be, damn, all shot to hell, fuck, look around, looking, oh there’s one, one little spot, got it. Stabby time, & stick, it’s in, just pull up some blood to make sure I didn’t go to far, oh yes, clean shot, looks good, looks good, & plunge away. There she is. Hey girl…mmmmmmm. Hey there sweet girl. Back in our room, aren’t we girl? Just you & I. Oh wow, the room is getting smaller, like a vignette, there’s that weird taste in my mouth, oh but the vignette is closing, yes, the room getting smaller, & smaller, eyes are closing, show is over, last thoughts, as the vignette closes down to a pin, one little pin of light, one eye barely still open, stay awake maybe?…what did you say?…shhhhh…then just let go. Let go. Bye. Your body pukes out foam, trying to stay alive, but nope, you shot too much, & there’s no Narcan, or anyone around to save you anyway, & you die, alone. That’s the end, the end of your movie, & someone will find you, or rather, your body, all rotting & stinking of gruesome death.
.This ain’t gonna be no PSA for “just saying no,” or some corny nonsense like that, nope. Just illustrating the world of the dope fiend, & what comes first. I’ve seen moms do dope with their kids in the car seat. It takes away everything you have, everyone you love, everything, dope takes it all, once you’re on the needle. I lived that world for a long time, much too long. Dark days…I’m amazed I’m still here, to be honest. Feels like I’m the only one left, & they all went the same way, impaled by the spike. The worst thing you lose, is your will to appreciate life, & particularly, time. Nope, just waste away, slow suicide, until one day you’re shooting ½ gram bags at once, just to get through a shift at work. It’s insane how dark this world can become. Wanna see? Here’s a video from Kensington, a neighborhood in Philadelphia, where it literally looks like a scene from The Walking Dead. Check it out.
Not good, is it? This is some new drug called “Tranq,” & I’m not very familiar with it, nor am I interested in doing the zombie walk, sheesh, look at these people. Does this look like “life” to you? Does it look like these people are “living?” Fuck no, & it just keeps getting worse & worse & worse. There’s thousands of these videos, it’s absolutely shameful. People lose hope though, when situations go south, & they have no money, & “life,” just seems impossible, BOOM, enter the drugs, & WHAM, you’re addicted, just like that. Over time, it grows, like a little troll in your gut, stabbing at your stomach when he needs his medicine, & the more time goes by, the harder he stabs, the deeper the knife plunges into the walls of your guts, & he yells, “FEED ME!” You get anxious, then you sweat, then your stomach goes berserk, then it’s hell, the hell of kicking dope. A hell that I reserve to wish only upon my worst enemies. One hell week, then you’re free. It seems like an eternity though, for some reason.
Yeah, it’s rough, particularly off the needle, which is why so many people die. They try to kick, they try hard, they fight, nothing works though to make the cramps stop, to make the pain stop, to make the manic mind stop. Nope, there’s nothing…except dope, of course, so then they go score, because the pain is unbearably rough, & they shoot a big shot because oh that pain, it’s so bad, & because they haven’t used for a bit, their tolerance is lower, & POOF, lights out. That’s it. Done. Out. Gone. Bye. You’re no longer among the living, & everyone who’s left has to clean up the mess you leave. Foam coming out of your mouth, piss & shit on your crotch area, maybe running down your legs, cold, blue, stiffened up, just a body, as the soul has departed, & that’s the end of that person’s story, just like that. Everything they did in this life, from being born to growing up & going to school & making lifelong friends & relationships & learning your individually respective talents, & then to leaving home, & going to college maybe, & then you graduate & because college is a total waste of time for most people, you bee-bop around until you find a job, whatever. Can’t speculate generally on lives after college, because everyone goes in a million different directions when that time comes. Some find a “career,” & go on to get married, & have some kids, & get divorced, & all that made-for-television kind of life. Some go other ways, & maybe they take risks, they gamble on life, & that’s their life, just rolling with the flow. Some stay golden, & they live in the neighborhoods with the big houses, & pools, & they’re virtuous, despite their wealth. I suppose they just got a better ticket for the ride, but all-in-all, you get the point, right? Everyone goes different ways, but some, more-so than ever, go the way of addiction. Doesn’t matter what you do, or where you come from, there’s been an addict from every socio-eco-demographic you can think of. It’s a monster, a virus, a disease, a cancer, all of it in one really, & once you’re infected, it’s for life, unfortunately. Such is the way of my drugs. Do you get it yet? When you’re on the sauce, the sauce is boss. Good quote. I’m gonna have to add it to my book, The Great Quote Hunt, but I digress, as usual. Where was I? Oh yes, there is nothing else but getting well, as they say, once that needle is in your arm. If you’re not banging away, there’s still hope for you, but like I said, in the beginning, if the needle bag is open, your life is about to close up for the night, the darkest night of your life.
Oh but look at the time; I just heard the attention span alert go off. That must mean it’s once again time to wrap up yet another article composed by yours truly. There were good times, & hell, there were GREAT times with the drugs, but in the end, the dope casino wins & you walk out with nothing left but your socks, sometimes not even those. Not to mention, there are serious long-term effects, mental AND physical, as the human body isn’t built to exist in such a way. Self-care is important, but self-medicating to dull your wounds is no bueno. It doesn’t last, it never lasts, ever, & sadly, every junkie always gets to that moment when the drugs are almost gone, down to maybe a hit left, then gone, nothing, & you tell yourself, “I got this, I can beat it; just need a few days of detox, & I’m good to go.” Ummmmmmm…that’s a hard “NO,” NO NO NO…that NEVER works, ever, so maybe the best bet for all of you reading this, is to just never do drugs. 99 out of 100 lose the war, so do you honestly believe that you would be the one to get out completely? Ah, the junkie mind, the priorities so out of whack, & all that matters, is that phrase, “getting well.” Until next time dear readers, rewind the tape & peep my last few posts prior to this one. Get your respective selves all caught up. I could keep going, I could always keep going, write-write-writing about life, but I have a book to work on, so I can’t spend all my time on these random thought-articles I post, nor the Foozers, not until my book is done. Like I said, there’s PLENTY to go backwards in time on to find some enlightenments here in my opus of sorts. Find the “SEARCH” query, type in anything, ANYTHING, & a few fish will always bite. Over 6000 pages here…oh yes, that’s right, you heard me, SIX-THOUSAND PAGES of my madness, transcribed for all of you of course, & for none of you at all. That is the way, & I abide the truth. So sayeth FisH™…🎏
Back Behind the Bar
What a life, what a life this life has lived up to, now at this middle-age, assuming I make it to old age. Unfortunately , the marathon just backed up 25 years or so, I’m starting me alllllllllllll the way back at square one. Of course, if I were actually in my early 20s, it would be great right, starting over?…but regrettably for yours truly, I am not. I don’t have time to start back at the rockiest rock bottom ever, so I suppose I’ll just spend the rest of my miserable days slinging shitty weed to automatonic customers who are so unbelievably ill-informed about what they’re doing, it’s almost a joke on top of a joke. The main joke would be back to doing this nonsense again, after 6 weeks quitting no less, & the other joke being that I can barely tolerate these “patients” now, but I’d love customers like these back in the day, ones that paid whatever I told them the price was, as well as assumed that because I say it’s good, it’s good. Despite this being a legal job, the dispensary is half-ass at best, it’s insanely disorganized, very ghettofied, & the weed sucks. It suh-hucks, & like I said, I don’t even smoke this shit anymore, but good God, one might think there’d be no room in Colorado for weed so low in quality. To my surprise & dismay though, not only is there a local market for it, these fucking people actually think it’s good. Blows the mind. Seriously, this is like some karmic time warp for me to make up for a past I had no control over. Going backwards, the world is backwards, it’s all fucking backwards here. Something is so…off, one could argue. Nonetheless, before I tangent off in the first paragraph, let’s get back to the naive people, all I wanted to say about that is that I suppose the power of suggestion is much stronger than most people realize.
Look at Covaids. Look what the pandemic did to people. It’s STILL showing effects from the mass-psychosis/hypnosis. Maybe it was mass hypno-psychosis. The television PROGRAMMING programmed the public to believe in a faux virus, & that they needed a jab, & what did they all do? Without doing any research for themselves, they panicked, put on 12 masks, rolled up their sleeves, & let eugenists, I mean “doctors,” jab a relatively untested science experiment, sold as a “vaccine,”into their bodies, which as I said from he start, will not do anything, except maybe shed the the sickness by weakening immune systems, & eventually kill people, but other than that. I know something about Covaids that most people don’t, but I’ll have to illustrate that more in a future post, or this one will end up being much longer than the average attention span. Now with the Coviads, just to finish, have you seen all the people collapsing & dying from “random heart attacks?” That’s the Covaids jab, believe it or not, I do not care, because I know what is doing it, & I know what it means to hold your ground, like I’ve done for the last 3 years, despite a whole world against me it seemed. Here to help, & the tv-watchers ostracize me. Like I said, it’s all backwards here in this 3d Clownworld. I swear, if it comes on the television, most people WILL comply, as if the television BROADCAST PROGRAMMING might not be what it seems, even though it’s right there in the words.
Free stream of consciousness, this paragraph is all just me tuning the dial, finding a station, holding the number 3 button on the radio’s face until it blinks, then letting these fingers fly, & what comes out, I never know, until I proofread my posts. Okay, ready?
I do know this, as much as it pains my soul, I do know this though, I hate where my life has gone & will go. I hate the ditch, the ditch in the doldrums, what if the cold concrete of the street comes? Gah, these depressing depths I have now sunk myself down into, with no more sunlight in sight. Where is the sun? I should go walk the walks of Kerouac; he used to live here for God’s sake, why not? Or Neal Cassidy? Either one. Maybe that’ll bring light down here. Nope, it’s too dark, much too dark down here, dark as a pissed-off squid, in more ways than one could guess, but I just know it’s darkness all around me, surrounding me, trying to suffocate me. There’s a good quip, like an impetus quip; I know that there can be a light in the darkness, & never vice-versa. Oh but look, my light in this darkness is barely holding on. Only a flicker, like a lighter in a tornado. If I run out of light bulb juice, the light turns off, so for some reason, despite all of this depravity & degeneracy within this darkness, I keep this silly little flicker flicking. I don’t know why, don’t even care why anymore, & in fact, I don’t feel a God-damned thing as I walk down an endless flight of stairs, these liminal checkerboard marble stairs. Nope, total numbness, no handrail, just one step, another step, one step, another step, through an Escherian maze that goes nowhere but seems to go everywhere.
I am intentionally avoiding the news for a week starting today. I just don’t care anymore; the zeitgeist is a runaway snowball, picking up everything, while being steered by sinister forces atop the power pyramid. Said snowball is carving a path that for them, one that is analogous to a super-highway, but for the rest of us, it’s like we all own a little house…look at all of our millions of little houses, right in the path of that super-highway the globalist elites want. The snowball is Katamarian; it picks up everything, consumes everything it touches, so our little pink houses, are getting gobbled up, while their super-highway is plowing a path for them to have total global dominion when it’s complete. The analogy works in my head, & hopefully, you can picture that one too. it’s clever, however I admit, kind of nebulous, but again, I digress.
From this day forward, until December 31st, 2030, this nascent hell on Earth is going to become the Las Vegas of hell on Earth. It will be absolute sin city, like Pandemonium in Paradise Lost, a city of demons, run by demons, inhabited by demons & their minions, yes, humans totally enslaved, it’s going to be quite malevolent. Maybe the Antichrist will have made his presence known by then. Maybe there WILL be some kind of Divine reckoning. The way it’s going, sadly, is not very promising that it will be the latter. God has seemingly left the building, then left the state, & can you blame Him for doing so? Look around for fuck’s sake…this is some new-age dystopian nightmare. Some famous futurists wrote about things that were like this, but none of them captured its exact essence, but several came close. The reality is more like an amalgamation of Orwell, Huxley, Rand, & although none of them hit it perfectly on the head singularly, as I said, if you combined the main plots of their works, out would be birthed this modern day idiocracy we are all stuck in, like rats on a ship that’s destined to sink. Only when this boat finally ceases to float, the ones piloting it will try to take as many of us to the bottom with it, as in dusks below the crashing waves.
Nope, this cannot go on, but when will it finally hit critical mass, when sociodynamics become fully manifest, which way will it go? Don’t expect those of us in the peasantry down here to come out on top, because we won’t, for reasons I just suggested, but mainly because we will always allow them to divide us. Try to imagine everyone in this world, or even just this country, dropping the qualms they’ve been programmed to believe that keep us divided. Imagine if EVERYONE, despite all the fucked-up shit going on in their lives, just suddenly united to take down this small circle of fiends who are in charge. There’s so many more of us, & we could do it in a day, but the division & the notions of division are so deeply engrained now in the general populous, that there is just no way possible to stop the inevitable.
There’s no way to turn a ship around, when half the people are steering starboard while the other half are steering port. Now stick a propaganda machine between both sides of the steerers, & the hatred festers until it erupts into violence. All the while, while the boat starts sinking & the steerers are fighting, each side at the other’s throats, the captain, the staff, & all the guests in the “upper-class” part of the ship are busy boarding lifeboats. They know they’ll b safe if/when the ship sinks, but us, we’re fucked, because we’re too busy fighting one another to go out onto the main deck to see the iceberg that the ship just smashed into. I know, I know, these analogies are a bit all over the place, but you all get the point, yes? The point is: if you’re not among the so-called “ruling elites,” the clock is ticking…maybe 5 years for some of us, but many will be gone before that. A hot World War 3, another plandemic, except one that actually kills people on contact, a staged “space event,” with Project Blue Beam being the center-point, & most people believing & abiding that it’s real, is that the future? It doesn’t matter what scenario I illustrate here, doesn’t matter at all. Nothing we amongst the low-lifes do really matters, nor did it ever. Much time has been wasted, utterly thrown in the trash, & in my case, left me with a head full of knowledge, on an island unto myself.
Total emptiness…I recall the guy on the street, with no family anymore, no friends, working a taxed dead-end job for rubles & ones, with an overpriced iphone never rings, unless it’s a bill collector or some bullshit 800 number, so why do this, why continue if it’s just misery to even exist, what is there to live for? For him, nothing, & for me, of course there’s my cat Milo, & I live for him; he’s it, all yours truly has, my only best little friend, & for him, yes I continue on. If he wasn’t here though, I’d probably die in a shootout robbing a bank. I’ve always thought it would be fun to pull off, if even just once, but since I’ve never actually done it, I’d most-likely fuck it up somehow. The cops would be silently notified, & just as I exit the bank, I’d hear, “Get down, get down on the fucking ground now!!!” I’d naturally have to draw my gun, because fuck going to prison, & as soon as I did, a volley of shots would sound off, as lead projectiles going 5000mph tear through my chest, piercing my heart & lungs & such, more-or-less killing me instantly. I actually know a guy that all of this happened to more-or-less. He had been successful, in many scores, but on this occasion, things went wrong. Alarms were tripped, people got jumpy, & my friend ended up getting away, but his partner did not, & instead of leaving the scene with all of the cash & a clean getaway, he turned around, & went back to get his bank-robbery buddy. Admirable, right? The cops had the place surrounded already though, & a shootout broke out. My friend went walking right at police, unloading clips like some bonus scene from Reservoir Dogs, bullets whizzing everywhere. His partner was already hit & down, so my friend had decided he would go out in a maelstrom of lead & bang-bangs. Then he got hit, POP, hit again, & again, & again, POP POP POP, & he collapsed to the ground. As the cops walked up, they saw the guns my friend had were on the ground, away from him, & he was dying, but still alive, so they emptied several more rounds into him at relative point-blank, trying to kill him, one shot even hitting him in the balls. Guess what? THEY STILL DID NOT KILL HIM, 9 times shot, & my friend lived, went to the hospital, went through a hellish surgery, just to save his life so that he could do time, & spend the rest of his bank-robbing life in jail. Fucked up story, isn’t it? It’s true though, & I talk to this friend all the time. He’s a savage, not to be fucked with.
He’s a good dude though, with a good soul, not all criminals are bad people, as not all laws or just, & we all know how fucked up the “justice” system in the USSA has become. 2 tiers, one for us, the peasantry, & then one for the so-called “ruling elites.” This 2-tiered justice system has gone so askew, that they don’t even hide the fact that it IS a 2-tiered justice system. Nope, they just blatantly treat those deemed “elite” with proverbial kid gloves, on national television, while you & I get proverbially punched in the face with a weighted boxing glove if we are charged with similar crimes. Oh yes, make no mistake, if one of us amongst the general populous committed insider trading in the open, cheated on our taxes on record, abused people, & even murdered people, we’d be in federal prison. Not these elites though, oh no no no…for them, it’s a picnic, & what’s worse, they come out on television trying to dictate to the regular folks how to act, what to say, who to be, ugh, it’s all just so pathetic, it makes you wanna scream until a glass breaks. TURN OFF YOUR TELEVISIONS. IT’S CALLED “PROGRAMMING” FOR A RESON. This is why I am not going to be turning on the news for a week, maybe more. Don’t know, don’t care, & I’m going to avoid all of my media for a week to detox my head from looking at the news, the breaking news, the fake news, anything “news,” is no more for at least a week for me, possibly more, depending on how my head feels after the week of no-news-isolation.
We don’t want to communicate with anyone/anything, if we want to be 110% honest here. NOTHING, I am done talking to people any more than I have to. Why? That’s easy, because most people are soul-suckers, yet aren’t aware of it, because it’s all occurring subconsciously, & when they go out in public, their programmed NPC selves suck the energy from everyone. Fat people are notorious for doing this. Think about physically, their obesity it itself, so fat they have their own gravitational field, which is not total hyperbole, because just like a gravity field, their chubby orb-like stature, pulls energy toward it, YOUR energy, getting pulled toward the fatty, just like a planet does to an asteroid. Also, it’s mentally, which extends beyond the fatties, as there are many, MANY psychic vampires, so to speak, who exist to do one thing, suck up light energy into their own darkened souls. Some do it intentionally, but many do it without even realizing they’re doing it.
Unfortunately, for yours truly, I sense it, all of it, & it’s always trying to pull at me, & by always, unless I am in a room alone with my cat, I have to continually be on guard, so no soul-suckers suck my soul. Say that fast 6 times, “So no soul-suckers suck my soul.” I jest, but they do, & these sort of notions are the foundation of my will to keep going, I suppose, because there has to be some meaning in my being here at all. I can’t let them beat me. There has to be something, right?…was Camus right/wrong when he talked about the meaningless of life is what gives life meaning, in his book The Myth of Sisyphus? It’s all so absurd, yes, & if God, any God, has forsaken you to be a drone-like slave, why go on? Why not just off one’s self? Camus discusses that too, & feel free to red for yourself, but personally, I think that sure, you could end your own life, & maybe it was always an option & you just get clean slate restart, you might think…but what if there is a mental hell after death? Not pitchforks & a giant frozen Lucifer hell, that’s all medieval fear porn, but some kind of mental hell, one that you put yourself into when you take your own life, what if that happens? It’s a lot to chance. Or what if you restart, only to have to do it all over again, like putting a record back onto the same song, when you abruptly end the song as it was playing? The song has to finish, before you can go on to the next one, which is another reason why taking your own life is not worth the risk you could face in the afterlife. The odds say so at least, statistical analysis isn’t objective, so again, the risk is just too favorable for the house, not one’s self, should one choose to take their own live by thine own hand.
Geez Louise, I’ve done it yet again, look at this. Like 5 pages of my drivel, & I should re-title this, “Back Behind Bars,” as opposed to, “Back Behind the Bar,” since let’s equate this dismal life to an un-ending incarceration of sorts. Life of solitary confinement: when you’re exiled from the digital town square, your friends are all dead, you have no family anymore, the money has gone back to the money-printers, you sleep on the floor, you have to liberate food to eat, you do a job that a trained monkey could do, you’ve wasted your whole life in a state of delusion & arrested development, after a youth full of abuse at all levels, you have zero hope, a weak skill set at best, no aspirations for a future that is sure to end up dystopian, & isolation has made you alien to the public. Yes, one’s own prison cell, with a little logo carved into the wall via a brick scratcher made out of old elongated toenails. Mine’s a fish, recognize. This is a world that has turned from a once-lush garden into a burned-out bushy mess. Only within a few years too, with the AI riding up fast as a leading dark horse. For yours truly, it’s been a complete 180, & I’m going to spend the rest of this ridiculous life selling legal dirt weed to unappreciative ratchet customers, but I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. Doesn’t matter though, nothing does, & as I said, why should it, why should a Godless 3d matrix mean anything to anyone? It’s all about money for most, money money money, chasing that money, & I just cannot abide it. I’m not even sure why, but my soul just doesn’t understand an artificially constructed currency, particularly something as atrocious as paper monopoly money, backed by literally nothing, & handed out to the people in the power pyramid like Pez on Halloween, while everyone else is forced to slave for it, all thanks to an illusion of scarcity. It’s NOT right, none of this is right, none of this is natural, but yet it continues, & it even grows, pulling more & more & more people into the depravity of power through dynamically corrupt & unprecedented means of wealth acquisition,
As usual, I have digressed into some dark waters, & I must end this diatribe now. Until next time dear readers, yours truly might be from another planet, one where money, & internets, & cell phones, & tyrannical power pyramids do not exist. Certainly not the first three, but it’s very difficult to incarnate on a planet that has no power pyramid. I think that most “sentient” entities biologically establish a hierarchy, whether intentional or not, to ultimately establish order, but here on earth, it’s an illusion. It’s an illusion they perpetrate & maintain, being taught so from birth, under the pseudo-guise that humans with free will must be controlled by those born to a higher station then they are. Again, these are illusions, all indoctrinated during the respective childhoods of varying members of the special bloodlines throughout the world. Generation after generation, they build their dynasties into empires. Someone without a family can only imagine what that’s like, to have a family, especially a family with power & wealth, imagine the possibilities, the obstacles you would never have to worry about, how far you could take your life, without ever worrying about money, so many fucking advantages, & you don’t have to be evil even if your family name is, unless…
…suppose that there’s a secret all elite family members share. Maybe there’s some great cosmic dark secret that they all share to retain the power they possess. Could there be one truth, one definitive solid truth, that keeps them, & us, really separate? Not talking about the caste system, no no, nothing like that; I am talking about the bloodlines. These people are all pedigreed, like a dog, & they have papers documenting their lineage. If you don’t have papers, you’re just another mutt, & you’re due to be sterilized & euthanized at some point in the not-so-distant future. Is that their true goal? Maybe I’m wrong, yes, I could be totally wrong, & all of this is a paranoid delusion. Perhaps a lobotomy would do me well, & if it were 75 years ago, let’s say, my parents, being the way they are, most likely would’ve used their insurance to lobotomize me in my youth, only to throw me into The Cuckoo’s Nest for the rest of my life. I would be just like Murphy, the only sane one in a world gone insane, & deemed as a “mental patient,” eventually frying my brain. Nope, no more dinners with the fam for the black sheep; those days are forever gone. So much wasted time, so much time, wasted. That is all for now. So sayeth FisH™ 🎏