Ha, I got a few Reddit reviews, which is surprising considering how dark some of the Reddit threads are, but nonetheless, some readers were…I don’t know, compelled yet afraid maybe? I don’t consider a single word I write to hold any significance, being “dark” or otherwise. When I read the way the real warriors of the pen wrote, it has some kind of magical quality to it, like it’s beyond space & time, which technically, it is, as some of those book have been read for hundreds of years. Marcus Aurelius wrote his Meditations circa 2000 years ago, & people STILL abide the notions he presented. There’s something so dynamic about writing something like that, & although my ego can easily dupe myself into believing I could spit out one, just ONE good book, that had some kind of meaning within it that others can relate to. It is too late though, & no matter how hard I try, & keep writing these articles daily, I just am not seeing it. Mostly the view escapes me because of the waves crashing into me, one after another, caught in an infinite undertow, or flushed down a toilet, in the same manner any book I write would be treated. Flushed away, just like a toilet.
I think I’m going to go for a walk on my next day off. I have to do a little research of course, but I’d like to go walk down the same streets that Kerouac walked on when he was here…like 80ish years ago maybe, something like that. I don’t like Jack for being a degenerate drunk, but considering my own afflictions, who am I to judge anyone based on their own self-destruction? He went fucking hard too, & he knew it was going to kill him, which it did, around the same age I am now. Yes, but he hit it hard & hit it early, harder than myself, earlier that you, he boarded that train & said “LET’S FUCKIN’ GO!” Some of us get on the train & never stop, fire it up, get those boilers cooking,push it, going faster & faster, further away from everything you thought you knew, until WHAM, BAM, SMASH, CRASH, your train goes off the rails, & it doesn’t come back, ending in a massive pileup of chaos & destruction. Some of us ride a slower train, just riding for the ride perhaps, stopping at each town between here & there, no destination really though. A billion of you it seems just watch trains come, then watch the trains go, never boarding the trains, but mere spectators, billions of you.
A walk would be nice, Divine even, the hot Colorado Sun, a mile closer to everyone’s faces that are at sea level. The air is different up here, cleaner, even in the city, among the growing populations of tent communities, junkies, drug whores, thieves, destroyers, & any/all other ilk that contributes to these cities of squalor, yes somehow the air is cleaner. Honestly, this going broke madness has become a game of survival, & the upper class is successfully starving out everyone who is not in their special club. It’s beyond rough out here, it’s becoming like some pre-Mad Max wasteland of degeneracy. People don’t escape from these situations, nothing better ever comes along for those down in the trenches, & the divide is arguably getting exponentially greater by the minute, the gap, between them, & us. I don’t know though, maybe I talk to much about the truth. I’ve been AI-assist banished from the digital town square, which somehow has made me into a virtual ghost. Maybe I’m dead, & I just don’t it? Nah, I just asked the AI again, & it said “no,” so I suppose am still alive, because the AI would never lie to me, would it? I don’t know how many of you realize how dangerous the AI truly is. Maybe you do, I don’t know, but I can speculate based on these cross-section interviews, live from Clownworld, where average people have no idea what inflation is, or what we celebrate July 4th for, or a range of various other incredibly simple questions that as you’ll see, just fly right by the hamster on the wheel that moves them around from place to place. I try to imagine their home-lives, what’s it like when dunce comes home from work to another dunce, & dunce & dunce eventually make a baby dunce, then it’s a whole circle of base-level duncery, just an incredibly fugly nation, full of horror & abject mental impoverishmen, as well as physical impoverishment. A once-great nation, now just poverty. I’ll leave a whole playlist below for you via the great Mark Dice. Roll the clip Mr. Producer…
The cancer that arguably started in this country, began in California. The cancer quickly spread, went from seemingly benign & isolated, to wide-spread & malignant, & NOW, has become terminal. Radiation directly blasted out from the Sun is the only way to cure it, but unfortunately, that much radiation will most likely kill the figurative cancer patients. At the very least, it would reduce the human population drastically, & the scant few survivors would have to start all over again in the aftermath. Suppose the so-called “ruling elites” already know this. Suppose they’ve enslaved us to keep providing more wealth & power for themselves, only to leave us to a known cyclic micro-nova that radiates the planet, causing the poles to shift. Suppose thy just want to merge with AI, as I’ve already said, & when they do, they’ll unleash some kind of real pandemic, to wipe people out & create mass panic, all at the same time. It doesn’t matter which future speculation you can come up with, they all seem to end with the most powerful people on the planet completely branching away from humanity entirely, to live amongst themselves, in heavily guarded & gated regions. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be fighting & killing & battling our way to various outposts, the ones of us that survive the Great Pandemic, of course.
I hate these things I see, believe me I do, & doesn’t everyone want the world to be a fun ride, & great planet to do a life on, surely we all want that, right? Unfortunately, if it ever is again, it will not be for generations, & considering the damage done to all of us already, I’m not sure humanity will ever fully recover. It’s sad, it’s a sad & sinister scenario that the power-elites have stuck all of us into. They are instructed from birth, in these top-of-the-power-pyramid dynastic families, they are taught from day one that they belong to a different class, a “higher” class, & what that they do will carry on through the ages. They receive instructions on subjects that would never come up in the real world, especially within the public school system. They live these lives of yachts, & trips all over the world every week, & parties in rooftop mansions in Manhattan. It’s just an entirely different world, for me it is anyway. I’ve been in a few mansions in my vagabond life, & it’s just mind-blowing when you think about the fact that a super-wealthy family lives there, & does family shit there, & cooks dinners there, ones where affording all of the ingredients doesn’t matter. It’s almost dream-like, just being in one of those places, because as soon as you leave, & walk out the front door, you realize you’ll never go back there, ever, & then the real world comes back, & your energy has to get back to that, rather than that fleeting moment of some kind of freedom you feel in the halls of a mansion.
I don’t know what I’m even rambling about. I’m exhausted, the lamplight, the bugs, my dented up car from fuckwads in ghetto parking lots who hit cars then leave. Just because I live in the ghetto, doesn’t mean you gotta fuck up my car so it blends in with the other trashy cars in the neighborhood. Both sides, in 2 days, fucking ridiculous. Yes, my car is a piece of shit, but it’s my piece of shit, & it’s all I have to get me around. Speaking of which, feel free to donate to my GoFundMe Fishheads. I’m doing my best, & it’s overwhelming, but I keep going because what else am I gonna do, know what I mean? Here’s the link for the GoFundMe “Starting Over” fundraiser telethon bonanza spectacular. Just joking, t’s not nearly that cool, but it is a fundraiser for yours truly nonetheless. Until next time dear readers, if you can, throw some money my way wit the link below. I’m running on nothing until I get my first paycheck at this job. Life has never been this relentlessly unforgiving it seems. I don’t know, nope, I don’t know, & I have humbled myself lately, by experiencing the self-realization that I am not nearly as smart as people think I am. I don’t even know why they think I am; I am a total dumbass, with no real skillset other than properly composing words into well-structured paragraphs, which the AI can now do in seconds, way to go scientists, but I digress. No, no I’m not a smart guy. Smart ass maybe, which serves me in no way, & it’s a good thing I had to learn the hard way. Oh yes, always the hard way, the never-ending hoisting of the Sisiphusian boulder up the mountain, only to have it roll back down on top of you every morning. That fucking boulder never stays, never will stay, but for some, it does, & not only does it stay atop the mountain, they barely had to push it at all to get it to the mountaintop, & to find golden glory, & a life to be remembered. It’s all so much bigger than these little liminal lives most of us lead. Or, maybe it isn’t. So sayeth FisH™🎏
LINK to Fish’s Fundraiser>>> https://gofund.me/5d91b3fa