Ever Have…

Ever have one of those days where it seems as though you could disappear and not a single person would notice? No one has called, no one has returned your pleasantries and mannerisms, no friends, no family, nothing? Well today is one of those days for yours truly. Just my cat Fritz and I on the 4th of July, apparently feeling slightly poetic.

Does anyone really care? Do people always get trapped in this void from time to time where they seem to not exist? It’s a lonely place, not that the 4th of July is a big deal, but one might assume that at least friends are getting together and that sort of thing. Not here. Not on this day. Just me, Fritz, and a computer. It’s right on the line between the horrible pain of utter loneliness and being so numb to it you don’t let yourself care anymore. Ugh…. mental anguish…. or fuck it, enjoy YOU time. Idk. I may come back on here today. In Egypt, it sounds like some real fun. Wait until you see what that boils into. So maybe I should just enjoy these days where nothing is going on at all, at least relatively close to me is going on. NOTHING.Today I am a ghost. No one sees a ghost, no one hears a ghost, but some people can feel a ghost. And for those who think I am just feeling sorry for myself, go fuck yourselves. Those who says it’s a cold world and that’s just how it is… You are heartless, cold-minded, mumpsimus drone slaves. Your love has been lost with your souls and replaced with machine minds. Have the balls to express yourselves before you troll on what I express. They may have you, but they’ll never have me. I have no fear of death and I would rather die living and believing as I choose than to be some slave to some master. Where has all the love gone? Seriously? But again, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just the wicked one and you are all good and righteous and I just find ways to scrap and survive from your table. Some of you would like to believe that I’m sure, but I would rather be the most poor man in the world than to force myself to think and act as most of you do. Chained to the floor, prisoners in your caves. Remember, only one enlightened one leaves the cave, so which are you, the prisoner, or the free man/woman? What would you rather die as? Death is coming for us all, you better know the answer for you, not for them. Wide eyes open. Love to all. 

Alone on the 4th?


No, you aren’t, we are all alone together, just temporarily by ourselves. Ahhh… loneliness.  Just another day. And what does this particular day really even represent anymore, especially this year? I saw some post about everyone doing nothing on the 4th to protest this tyrannical government globalist pig scum regime taking over. Sounds good to me. So if you are alone as well, don’t sweat it. No need to give into depression yet again over it. Have a smoke and a pancake and at least appreciate it as a day to excuse doing anything at all. No one may care about each other, but we can all care about ourselves. And if no one gives a shit about you enough to even wish you a Happy 4th, wtf is the point of dealing with it at all? Maybe it’s just me, maybe there are celebrations everywhere. Do they even know what they are celebrating about? Drinking and fireworks? How do you think the 4th is going over in Egypt? A nation of ignorance, self-centeredness, and no love… the land of the free… the USSA. Sometimes I wonder if this is actually hell, you know? It hurts to be lonely sometimes, but remember, you always have yourselves. Wide eyes open. Love to all.

Ceremony Once More

Ceremony Once More

This song brings tears to my eyes for many reasons. Sometimes words do that when you hear them the right way. I’m very grateful and lucky to have experienced Ian Curtis and Joy Division. No matter what happens, their electricity is bound inside me forever. It feels like loneliness unbound. It’s a sadness you all can never understand, hence my tears. Some souls are just here briefly, souls filled with love crushed by the lack of it in this crumbling humanity. None of you get it. I’m all alone, either in madness or genius. But I’d rather be me with these eyes then to see what you all see. The other side is my true freedom, yours as well, if you know how to know it. These words are for none and all, as Zarathustra would say. The loneliest path is the hardest and the saddest but some of us are just on that road…. ES


This is why events unnerve me,
They find it all, a different story,
Notice whom for wheels are turning,
Turn again and turn towards this time,
All she ask’s the strength to hold me,
Then again the same old story,
Word will travel, oh so quickly,
Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Watching her, these things she said,
The times she cried,
Too frail to wake this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Avenues all lined with trees,
Picture me and then you start watching,
Watching forever, forever,
Watching love grow, forever,
Letting me know, forever.


“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. He will be lonely often and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself” – Nietzsche

From one of my favorite authors. If you don’t know, enlighten yourselves. The info is all out here, take it while you can. Love to all.

“The individual…